Grace's Soliloquy

Sun-bathing in the North Pole

2012-01-13T05:01:00.000-08:00

The moment when you feel the intense heat of your blood covered by your icy skin. You can't help except to add on a sweater to keep yourself warm. But at the same time, you have just trapped the tinge of chilliness inside.

Familiar? That's the feeling of being sick.

Fell ill on the third day of my first week working. Had never ate any fries or chips and i swear that i drink 3 bottles of water per day so that i won't lose my voice box. So, i assume that it should be the kids. Great, their virus and immune system had just overpowered mine. Never thought of taking a leave as i'm afraid that Teacher Nalin is not able to handle the versatile kids alone with another assistant. And somehow dear Cassandra has a very strong bond with me that i cannot pull myself away from her for a second. I had to take three days to figure out the trick to stop her from crying (Shh.. that's a secret). It was such great satisfaction to see her smile for the first time. And the moment she runs towards the gate when she sees her grandpa and her elder brother outside after school, waiting for her, my heart just melts. The unbalance steps of hers, her hands holding out to reach her grandpa, her mouth keeps on murmuring "Yeye, Yeye (Grandpa)" from soft to loud, the swaying of her school bag on her back, the moment she smiles as she waves goodbye to me like i have just made her day. Aaah... Instant melting.

Great! The data entry job was calling for me the day i started to fall sick. It should have been much more relaxing to work in an air-conditioner room, if i was not sick and if the chair is adjustable to suit my back. Now it just seems like a never-ending job and my pace is always half step slower than my two other friends as i can only reach there in the afternoon, after my business with the kids is done.

So, these three days was practically- TIRING.

Get well soon, Teacher Grace! Someone you cherish is coming back in a week's time!

Though it's only temporary :D

Life goes on.

2012-01-07T19:10:00.000-08:00

In some circumstances, i do hate waiting. Waiting makes me anxious. Waiting gives me false hopes. Waiting never ends. So this time, I'm not going to wait. I allowed the classified papers to lie in front of me every morning when i was having my breakfast. I crossed out unwanted boxes on the papers with a marker pen like how desperate girls in the Taiwanese dramas used to find their jobs. Since my desire to be a temporary teacher these few months met no reply, I guess i'll just go for the smaller ones. I braved myself to call a kindergarten on Friday morning. I was so ecstatic when the principal told me i could come for an interview in the afternoon.

I thought i'd just gone back to my childhood when i first stepped into the kindergarten. Colourful walls and corridors, the smell of old books, tiny desks and stools, children's art works on the wall, kids' laughter. That was just wonderful. The principal was really friendly that i didn't even feel a tinge of nervousness throughout the whole interview. (Well, i should be as this was my first official interview for a job!) Yes, i love the environment. And i just can't wait to see the gullible kids tomorrow.

He called last night and that was indeed the best thing of the day after the strenuous KPP talk. Judging from the laughter of his and his dorm mates, I guessed he must be doing fine over there. At least my worry of him has been cut down... a lil bit. Guess we're both overcoming this speed bump steadily so far :) And there's one thing that i envy him when he said, "Every night is a stary night over here."

So were we looking at the same starry sky last night? I still miss him so much <3

Your departure upon the arrival of new year.

2011-12-30T05:06:00.000-08:00

Two more days, another year will come. But the idea of a new year doesn't seem to cheer me up a little. :( New year means he will be going to NS. New year means losing touch with him for 3 months.

I'm glad that i fulfilled the promise I made last Christmas. Yes, I never thought that the promise would turn out to be such a wonderful date with him. That day, I gave him a letter. What seals in it, I hope he can understand. I might as well speak to him face-to-face, but I know I'm not that tough to face it- his departure, though it's just for a temporary 3 months. I'm just too used to his presence in my life, to him reminding me of my meals, water and sleeps; to him greeting me in the morning and night.

Well, people say time flies. I hope time flies in these 3 months' time too! Guess both of us should treat it as some kind of practice. Lots more to come in the future i guess?

Do take care, Dear!

<3 I'll wait for you to come back.

Winter Solstice Night

2011-12-22T21:04:00.000-08:00

A day of anticipation. Yes, i had to wait till the night, till Ah Mee came home, till dinner was over, till the 8pm news was finished. Then, the scent of pandan leaves and ginger soup came along with my breath. The aroma which i'm familiar with- the aroma of Winter Solstice.

Ah Mee took the initiative to help me last night, after a few days of silence due to the sore throat that's irritating her. And some meaningless argument with Ah Pa that perpetuates. The moment she started to talk, I was delighted. I kept on talking to her, hoping to continue the conversation. This sounds weird. I had a feeling that maybe she feels lonely. She doesn't have any close friend. She doesn't like her colleague that much. All she has- the closest to her, is her family. That's us! All the sorrows that she earns during her work and life, she has no where to pour them out. Yes, i somehow regretted ignoring her these few days. But i just can't help. I hate home when arguments break between the two oldest one at home.

This year, we didn't make our own glutinous ball. Ah Pa bought frozen ones from Giant. Ah Mee made a fuss about it at first. But luckily in the end she still went along with it. And we did have fun last night by guessing what's inside the glutinous ball. That's the best part of the day. :)

Frozen glutinous balls really look much bigger.

My ecstatic brother was cooking glutinous balls with a claypot.

If i didn't say anything, will u think that they are fishballs?

Happy Winter Solstice! :D

希望吃了汤圆，一家人真的可以团圆。

A confession

2011-12-20T04:58:00.000-08:00

Since i was a little girl, you have always protected me like how you take care of your favourite orchid plants. You have always treated me like a gem, a piece of precious gem. You will take everything to prevent me from any cut or scratch. Yes, you have managed to keep me safe beside you for 17 years. I appreciate all your nurture, care and thought.

But Pa, I'm no longer a little girl. You must try to let me live on my own. I'd rather you let me fall on the rough earth, let me feel the pain and let me learn how to live within the rough condition in the outside world. Just like sometimes, you will place the orchid under the scorching sun, to toughen them and to prepare them for harsh conditions. Confining me in the house safely at all times doesn't mean that i'm completely shielded from any dangers. As time goes by, I can feel that I'm becoming more and more fragile than the delicate orchids.

Sometimes, your over-protection makes me scream. Everytime, a cry in the blanket seems to mature my thoughts. At times, I do hope that i can understand your care and thought for me. I still love you, Pa.

College Marathon

2011-12-18T20:39:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was fully occupied with a series of college marathon. My first stop was Sunway College. The buildings didn't entice me that much. What really captivated me was the amiability and friendliness of the consultants over there. At first, I was terribly dazzled by the huge crowd and the various booth over there. But luckily a gentle young Indian girl approached me. She kindly explained to me the events which were taking place and the different sections of booths set. I told her what i had in mind and she led me to the CAT-ACCA booth. Well, i was pretty familiar with this course as i had referred to many brochures and asked a few of my seniors regarding this earlier. But trust me, dealing with different consultants regarding the same course is indeed and inspiring experience each time. This time i met an amiable consultant who was a former student from Sunway and is currently working for E.Y. This was pretty unusual and amazed me when i realised that we actually discussed and talked more about his studying and working experience than he telling me the details about the course. In the end, a conversation with him actually elevated my interest in embarking upon a career in the field of accounting and finance. In fact, now i'm fantasizing working in one of the big-five, especially E.Y!

The next stop dropped me at Inti College. The student helpers there were equally friendly, but the consultant we dealed with was pretty humorous. At first we were talking in English, but somehow at the end we were talking in Chinese. There were also embarrassing times when i started to ask stupid questions like "Would you recommend me to study Form 6 or A levels?" "Hey! Don't ask me questions like that. My boss is just behind. Of course i'll say A levels cuz I want your money wat~" That was pretty awkward. But, he solved my quandary when he started drawing the timeline between STPM and A levels, and also pointing out the problems of increasing fees which i had never realised. I soon learnt that delaying my degree studies by one year means an increase in my education fees of about 10%. And by dealing with this consultant at Inti, I finally know how to differentiate between accounting and finance. Before this, I had always thought that accounting and finance is a combined term.

Taylors College was my last stop. Perhaps my parents and i had arrived there a little bit too late. There seemed to be not much people visiting their campus. Well, the environment at Taylors never failed to captivate me. The lake, the landscape, the buildings and the panorama of the whole college- they really fulfilled the criteria of my dreamed college. We walked past the corridor where there were booths at the two sides. However, there seemed to be only Taylors students at the booths and most of them were indulged in their own activities. Well, this was a little disappointing. Taylors is beautiful, but with Baskin Robbins and Starbucks Coffee within, I don't think i'll actually study. Plus, i'm kinda worried for my pocket.

The prospect of going to college simply overwhelms me. You know, a different kind of study environment, new friends, eligible lecturers, high-standard education, serious presentations, rewarding group discussions, no more lame and doing-it-just-for-the-sake-of-reporting-to-management events. Ah Pa and Ah Mee both stay on two different ends, and i'm the one left to decide. What i can say is, after going through series of edu fairs and college open days, I'm still poised at the major crossroad of my life.

The Aroma of Love

2011-12-16T04:23:00.000-08:00

It is always like that. We will walk to the counter together. The sweet sweet aroma will be floating around us. And you will asked me to take a seat first. I will then instinctively follow your words. As I wait for you, my eyes will wander around to the lights, to the people around, to the phrases on the round tables, to you. Time always does its job perfectly, that every time I turn my eyes to you, you will be joining me with a drink in hand. I never bother to know what's the name of the drink, but it always seems to satisfy my taste buds wonderfully. Then, we will start to talk, from the most random conversation to a little heart-to-heart, till the drink starts to reach it's bottom, till my phone starts to beep. Then we shall leave, with you holding my hand while I try to drag with me my mind which is reluctant to leave the warmest spot and the most lovesome moment of the day.

Au Revoir 2010

2010-12-30T21:37:00.000-08:00

There are 11 hours left before midnight.

The warmth comes in today. My skin could no longer feel that tinge of icy cold like the other days. But still, it is a shivering cold year-end. But still, it's time to recapture the events and happenings that took place over the year.

2010 seemed to be different from the previous years. Somehow, over the past 12 months, i got the feeling that i had really grown up. No longer that gullible child with a naive charm. There were many, and more things to come that require critical thinking, both physically and mentally. Those lovely and wonderful childhood illusions, which had been proven wrong, should be kept away and knocked out. It's hardly a pleasing thing to do, but, that's the life of growing up.

Now i realised that Form 4 was indeed a honeymoon year as what the seniors called it. The most formidable challenge was only to get yourself used to the new subjects. Other than that, it was all about learning and having fun. And a year of blooming friendship and high school romance. No other worries about big scale exams and project stuffs. Well, you can't blame me from describing Form 4 in a way so sedately, because this is what i'm feeling right now, being poised in the verge of stepping into the elevator of Form 5.

2010 is a periscope. I explore new things. I met new friends. I got into a relationship.

I realised that i am pretty lucky enough to have good parents, who gave me a secure background and who are always ambitious for me to achieve success in life. Though sometimes they might be over-protective, but i soon learnt that it is a natural concern. They are worried that i would get hurt in the rowdy outside world. They are afraid of losing me. I must admit that sometimes their decision may not be wise, but it is all for my own good. What a cliché! So, throughout the year, i had tried not to hang out with my friends too frequently, and always try to obey their curfew restrictions, just to not let them worry about me. I don't want them to always undoubtedly underrated my ability in handling various task in life. I want to prove to them that i had already grown up, i am learning to take care of myself. So, Ba... Mi.. Don't worry! Your girl is turning 16 years and 5 months old in 10 hours time.

Ah... My dear brother John. I know sometimes you might get too stressed up to have a sister like me. But just do your best to be a good boy. I trust your abilities in other fields other than academics. I will try to help you as much as i can, though next year might be a quite hectic year for me. But i need you too. I need you to make me laugh like shit! Your tricks work best on me. Your favourite verse 'bertaring panjang', 'bermata satu' and 'mencekik leher' plus your funny actions can simply turn me into a hysteric. I guess i'll need much of that next year.

Jie cares for you all the time!

And you my dear. Way back to November, I was freaking down to learn that we're not in the same class next year. Though you tried to cheer me up, but i know u felt the same too. Soon, the depression faded after Cece's birthday. Somehow, the moment you hold my hand, i got a feeling that- yes, you will always be by my side. Thanks for your calls every night. Thanks for your love. Thanks for your care. You could simply sparkle my day with one simple text. I will never ever forget the day you ask for my hand. I guess that's the very first time i saw u blushing. I must admit that i sucks in expressing my thoughts and feelings. Especially matters that have to do with you. I'll get totally muddled up. But i'm learning. We will have more to go. And i'm so sorry for all the failed date this year. Guess we'll have to wait for the other year eh? I love you.

And to all my lovely friends, you girls are as cute as cupcakes! Thanks for giving me a memorable year! I admit that sometimes i was a lil bit clumsy as a friend, having not to notice the minor details and ruined the whole thing, or maybe hurt your feelings unawarely. Forgive me will you? Next year will be our final schooling year. No one knows where will each of us part off after that. So let's cherish 2011, lay the saddened ones behind to rest, and rock next year to the max!

Au Revoir 2010.

A month

2010-12-28T21:36:00.000-08:00

I've never told anyone here about this.

I've been with him for exactly 1 month.

Way back to a month ago, I first met him in in a typical violin store. Surprisingly, i found out that many of his kind were there too, but none of them enticed me like the way he did. He looks kinda cool in his luminous orange coat. It gives him more than a glimmer. Among all, i love his coarse yet bright voice, which slowly captivates me way into the heart, the most. As nervous as a kitten, i held him up and gently placed my chin on the right spot. It was a lil bit uneasy at first, but soon i could feel the comfort that lingered in the air together with his voice- always that stunning and striking, with an obscure sense of melancholy and sorrows, which is almost imperceptible.

I'm fortunate enough to have found you.

Rugeri

He's mine.

P/S: Don't ask me why it is a HIM. He just sounds like a HIM. lol

Savage in GREEN

2010-12-18T02:46:00.000-08:00

Just came back from Go GREEN Campaign- I'm still in my GREEN-Tee!

Quite tiring, but it was fun though. Thank gawd the weather was suitably fine. We went from door to door, pressing our fingertips on doorbells like playful kids. Bearing tinges of fear, afraid of what's going to happen right in front of you in less than a minute time. Ah~ here comes an aunty/uncle/boy-boy/gurl-girl and we'll go, "oh hi~ we're from leo club of bla bla bla and we need your JUNK!", not forgetting to put on a wide beaming smile, just like the one the doughnut-globe has. Wenyi, Rui Xin and a few of the others were stalking the puppies and kittens, which were so poorly locked inside the gates. Poor Joshua was sweating all the way inside the globe- no wonder people say the core of Mother Earth is pretty hot. Oh.. not forgetting to mention that Brian's hat was awesome! Someday, i'm gonna get myself one too! Today i even braved myself to crack out that funny pitch outside some unoccupied houses, and so the pitch went, "ahem.. hell-LO~".

And my dear, do you still remember? Once we were in Form 3, we passed by one of these routes we walked today. And somewhere at the junction, you took my wrist and guided me out of the alley. It is still pretty clear in my mind because at that point of time, something was pounding hard inside me.

Oh, it was my heart!

Always remember that,

All I want is just you to be happy =)

The consequences of being too free

2010-11-26T05:22:00.000-08:00

There i laid, huddling myself inside the soft, comfy bed, so that i could feel the warmth. There is always a pain, near the joints between the neck and the head, which makes getting out of bed a sheer purgatory. Yes, i'm tired. What an excuse. Even the nester near the windowpane was snickering at me. Fine. I'm getting up!

Half-boiled egg. French loaf with butter spread. Hot Milo. That's the sequence. Never changed. Never want to change it. Then, browsing through the idiot box. If i was lucky enough, i could get something like Camp Rock or Conan. If not, i would shut it up and start messing with the piano. Not because that i'm an amateur, but the mood just doesn't go right. And so Air on the G-String sounds psittacine. The couch shoots me a beaming smile. The only way to escape is to go upstairs, though switching on the DVD player is the best solution. But I'm not touching any DVD, for bro's sake!

I must admit that lunch is pretty good, and warm with the sunny day. We usually go out, sometimes for mixed rice, sometimes for noodles. Dad will chat with me and bro, even though sometimes the topic is none of my interest. Somehow I just feel nice. What's more when i could fill up my tummy to shoo the moody clouds away? Then i shall tell myself, I must must must make use of my afternoon wisely. I must repeat it over and over again, till i sort of get the feeling like alas, i've straightened things out of my mind.

But no. It doesn't work. The songs in my MP3 are just like lullabies, no matter they are rock or jazz or pop or blue. They just make me fall asleep easily like the night is here. Then i'll dream. Dream of some peculiar, strange things, things that don't make sense at all. Sometimes there will be just one. Sometimes more. And i totally have no idea how does one dream related to the others. Sometimes i would be awakened by the sound of vacuum cleaner, voice of Dad and bro, or the pecking of the nester at the windowpane. But then i'll fall asleep again, as if there are breezes touching my face and the bed is like a swinging hammock.

Then it's dinner. It will be just like lunch. The atmosphere is pretty good. With the joining of Mom. We'll talk as we eat, commenting, gossiping, or even crapping. There is no more idiot box since that agonizing day- anyone of us will automatically switch it off, in case i got gastric again. After the meal, i'll do the dishes and watch some news and pick up on Summer's Desire. That seems to be the only time when i have the mood to read.

Time will pass so soon and i'll start to anticipate his call. The cell phone will beep and i'll know that it's time for me to switch off the lights. Then i'll lay on the bed, folding up the bed sheets, and we'll talk from A-Z. I'll try to control my voice: not too loud, not too soft. Then, with the hearty goodnight, i'll let go of the cellphone somewhere in my bed and slowly seep into dreams. Like you say, a perfect ending for the day. ♥

So, that's life!

Admirable stuffs

2010-10-08T06:21:00.000-07:00

One of the most splendid things in life

The Classical Orchestra which i take great pride in.

2010-09-18T22:18:00.000-07:00

SMK S4BK Classical Orchestra's 2010 Jamuan + 演奏会庆功宴

I still remember having dilemmas the night before the day. It all seems to be a waste of time for indulging myself in such insignificant worries when the day turned out to be one of the happiest day in my life. Pleasure occupied the entire me when i watched the members scurrying around, holding paint-stained pails with both their hands, chasing each other and making each other wet! I started to wonder, how many times are there in your life that you can actually play with each other so insanely, so crazily and so hysterically? So, just let it be! And so, splashing was everywhere, and if you were still in a fine dry condition, you'd made the wrong decision. Pails fully-occupied with water would be aiming at you very soon, and you would be far more wet than you'd expected. Geez^^ this was indeed far more interesting than i'd expected it to be!

Lil souvenirs. Hope the members would like it. You wouldn't find a similar one among them. Every single one is a unique one. Had been enjoying myself when making them. =)

The Banquet Lunch.

Jiao lian's blueberry cake! Wa... jiao lian memang 多才多艺! (banyak bakat banyak talent) XD

Jiao lian was serving us with his uber cake!

LOL Meng Chung was 'tricked' by Pn Chong! Spilling the 7-Up all over himself. XDD

Ha! Playful jiao lian playing one-two-juice! XDD

Geez =D Had fun splashing people downstairs!

Wuhoo~ Super cooling. SPLASH~!!!

LOL Jiao lian was standing behind there 幸灾乐祸! XD

Ha! Culprit upstairs! XP

Form 5s were standing in a row, waiting for their surprises, peacefully. XD

Yet, their surprises came in an unexpected way. o.O kekeke...

It seems that they didn't mind at all. In fact, they were posing happily to the camera. LOL May the flour gives all of you our blessings and the best memories of CO!

Good Luck!

The smiley faces of Form 5s'. =)

Lion Alan always says that we have to take pride in whatever we're doing.

Now, i truly understand what is the meaning of 'take pride'.

Thanks to CO!

I sincerely thank all the committee members and all the members who had given us your greatest support. Love you guys!

A slight push in a sluggish morning

2010-09-07T21:32:00.000-07:00

OMG the pressure is rising gradually like the high tide. uh-oh!

Bye! Off to Acid and Alkalis!

Holidays to-do-list:-

2010-09-06T00:06:00.000-07:00

Ms Singam's Merdeka Essay (procrastinated)
Teacher Germaine's Duty-free shopping summary
Teacher Germaine's assignment- Essay: Is Science a Blessing or a Curse? (seems interesting)
Wash the toilet
Barbecue at Kasawari (BSMM Rocks! Whee =D)
Hang out with friendss (and u ♥)
Pump the whole damn thing of Sejarah Form 4. (mission impossible)
Swallow and digest Physics Chap 1-4?
Flip open the book of Chemistry
Try to understand why rabbits eat their own faeces
Break my own Arithmetic Challenge record in Facebook (aiming for at least 100!)
Attend CO's practice on the 14th and 16th with high spirit
Put in extra effort to make CO's Jamuan an elated ending of the year
Proposal for Go Green March
Visit Harvest of Love with fellow Leos. Roar! (oops! 16th?)
Try to appreciate the meaning behind Malaysia Day

Sweet sweet 16

2010-08-21T00:22:00.000-07:00

You held out your hand and ask for mine.

No more hesitation.

No more blurry mist.

Yes, I do.

And thus, we are together ♥

Flipping through the 2 pages they'd left for you. I never forget how the words make my tears lingered in my eyes.

Thank you for giving me such a memorable birthday.

Je Vous Aime

Fluorishing Friendship in Avgoustos

2010-08-19T20:53:00.000-07:00

Geez^^ I just love this! Ever came across two pictures taken at different times with bottles in between?

In Africans, the month is called augustus.
In Chinese, the month is known as 八月.
In Greek, the month is called Avgoustos.
In Irish, August is known as lúnasa.
In Japanese, the month is called hachigatsu.
In Korean, the month is called parwol.

In my own words, the month is called 'the month when i grow 1 year older'.

49 pages of birthday wishes, 85 wishes on the wish counter. Trust me, this is much to many for a pail's tears.

Credits to Doiki for these cartoonize faces.
I can spend my whole day scrutinizing and comparing these faces with the real ones. XD

August is a birthday bomb. Beware cuz there's much more bombs yet to be exploded.

Me and Jie Min. Both are August babies. Knowing each other for almost 7 years. And I'm glad that we are still together, reading the words you wrote for me, posing and smiling to the camera. You reminded me of DD7, the moment when we were both form 1s'.

那一年，我们一起疯狂过！

Me and Sin Yee. Also been knowing each other for almost 7 years. Looking back at my previous post, I'm glad that we shared both our birthday joy! I love your straight-forward, and your hysteric-ness. Tears were actually lingering when i read you words.

如果有一天，你我真的甚少机会见面，一旦有一个人提起郑慧怡这三个字，我知道也不会忘记你这个好+老朋友！X)

Me and Mean Jern. 4S1 PROduction's senior assistant. Knowing each other for almost 4 years. Both are using BROS bottles. Tablemates/ Deskmates for almost 1 year. I guess we share quite a lot of interests eh? I'm glad that you chose me to be your deskmate for the whole year, and I'm glad that you enjoyed sitting with me. XP Especially during the World Cup Season! I remembered we were sitting in the middle row when the final match was approaching, talking non-stop about football under the spinning fan weih~ Shiok dao... And you paint Germany on your arm whereas i drew Spain on mine too!

跟你在一起，很舒服很自然，就算不说话。=)

Me and Khe Sin. 4S1 PROduction's supply coordinator. Knowing each other for almost 7 years. Both are yellow bananas. It's just that i'm not as retarded as her. Never been deskmates before. Have you ever notice, harsh words are never a taboo word for us. And that's what i like the most. XD I'm glad that you are willing to share your secret of Baby with me, and I hope that 1 day your dream would come true.

虽然我一直在讲废话，不过你永远永远是我最好的朋友！lub euu!!!

Me and Hui Wen. 4S1 PROduction's producer. Knowing each other for almost 7 years. Actually more than that, but i'm not sure whether kindergarten times were counted. Deskmates for 2 years. Both of us shared the same type of bottles before but too bad i lost mine. Out of 4 of us, only both of us are still hanging the caterpillar on our pencil cases. I'm glad that we turned out to be best best friends, which was something which i'd never expected when were in primary school.

有智慧的怡保很差水。 =.= （有智慧有文化也差不了多少）XP

To Wenyi & Sheau Sze,
I searched for highs and lows but just can't find your picha with me on my birthday leh... So... I picked randomly from your FB profile lor.. XD

Me and Wenyi. Been knowing each other for almost 10 years. Both are born on the 12th. Both join almost the same societies except for sports. But that doesn't matter cuz both of us are not really active in sports. Both are each other's secretaries. Oh~ we really share a lot of similarities. I'm glad that we become close again since the beginning of the year. After all, we are meant to be bosom friends, isn't it?

我们一定会有第2个，第3个，第4个，第5个，还有更多更多的10年。

Me and Sheau Sze. Been knowing each other for almost 7 years. Were deskmates on the 1st day we met each other, remember do you? Both join the same societies too except for sports. I love your expressions in front of the camera. Just like the one above. ^^ I'm glad that i surprised you with my uninhibited personality this year. Hehe~

像你这种kawan，哪里找？！！

This is certainly not the end. More to come. Don't worry. =)

Sincere thanks to everyone who wrote on the cards.

My first ever birthday cake at school! Whee~

Thanks Wei Jun and those who contributed on the cake!

When MSN ≠ MSN Messenger

2010-07-18T07:12:00.000-07:00

When MSN ≠ MSN Messenger...

We booked our own tracks.
We knew the right path to sprint.

We savaged the tennis court like hooligans who had just escaped from the asylum.

Savage succeeded!

But then... guilt arose....

So, we went sun-bathing. Shiok~XP

The stalking part
Will be continued?

P/S: MSN= Majlis Sukan Negara

June Baby

2010-06-27T02:05:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Sin Yee!

Lotsa ♥

Bearing hopes, soaring high...

2010-06-27T01:48:00.000-07:00

Expectation.

Anticipation.
Frustration.
Vexation.
Disappointment.

Whatever feelings are that, there will not be the word 'letting down'.

2 and a half years i've been with it. This is the third year, and it will surely be a glamorous one.

10th July 2010 will be the day. Either shine or torn, it's in our hands.

I <3 CO

L.E.O FORUM

2010-06-15T01:39:00.000-07:00

Date: 11th-13th June 2010
Venue: Tower Regency Hotel, Ipoh.

Day 1: Fiesta of Colours

Dang! That ballroom was super-crowded!

Daring each other XD
Had a fun time with the unknown boy behind and the unknown girl in front.
LOL sadly i don't really remember any of them.

100% Administration Award on Wenyi's hand.

Our cozy room.

ID Tag.

First Day: Dinner

So-called buffet dinner.
Seems like the food served was the only thing that i'm not satisfied with.
But the three of us were having real great fun inside our cozy room!
Guyz, hope you were not shocked with our insanity XD

As you can see, we were really unsatisfied with the 'zap fan'.

First Day: Fellowship Night

Hey! What a perfect mirror!

Getting ready for fellowship night.

What-A-Hat!

Second Day: Opening Ceremony+Sub-district Forum

OL/Waitress?

Banners marching in.

Exhausted security.
Poor Brian and Eugene.

Secong Night: Banquet Night at D' Florex.

Look at the way we craved for food XD

The dance floor!

The Oscar Stage.

Last Day: Closing ceremony.

It's me having fried mee-hun for breakfast on the bed.

Now who's giving the cert to who?

What you are going to see now is totally absurd.
Strictly no scrolling down if you do not accept hasty words.

It's simply the backward pronunciation of someone's name.

But they kept me laughing non-stop. OMG

I know what you did in the C.A.M.P

2010-06-15T00:17:00.000-07:00

Date: 5-7 June 2010
Venue: Dusun Eco Resort

So, this was the very first trip for this holiday. I'd actually anticipated this camp since exam period because we were told that we are going to sleep in camps. But who knows the teacher broke my heart, hushing us into dorms, and not allowing us to switch off the light during sleeping time. =.= duh.. But overall it was fun enough, with all the obstacle challenges, rakit building, night walk, jungle trekking. Oh.. and i will never ever forget the first time i cried in a camp, so damn terrible. Those faci-s are totally insane!

Doiki's in the bus!

Wa.. khe sin now i knew why my camera malfunction already. XP

The shaking part. OMG

Fly High!
Somehow every picture of our group just seem so blur~

Hey! Just notice that the two Graces were squatting side by side! XD

To Azwa:
I remember i gave u a big big hug ^^
♥ you!

My Sanctuary

2010-06-04T07:12:00.001-07:00

The prickly monster.

My sweetheart

2010-05-28T06:41:00.000-07:00

Yes! It's you! I think it had been almost 1 year since i last heard of you. You, the one i heart. You don't know how jubilated am i when i heard of your voice yesterday. My eyes gazing perpetually at your new look. How fresh! You're as attractive as usual. But this time you've got a new hair-cut. And my heart just can't top telling myself that your short hair, particularly your fringe, suits you perfectly well. What pleased me the most are your new songs. Your songs are always my cup of tea. They cheer me up a lots, giving me comfort and pleasure. Every time you sing me a song, my heart just ripples like they never before.

Yes, it's you!
Aww... Claire, you just look so cute when you're pursing your lips.
Feeling pity for your cut-away hair?
Well, it's not a bad thing thou^^
You look gorgeous!

Album: Your Friend 你朋友
Release Date: 17.05.2010
Songs by: Claire Guo Jing

Playlist:

01.EncoreLaLa

02.嫁妆
03.聊天
04.每一天都不同
05.总算我们也爱过
06.有温柔
07.最后一支舞
08.今天起
09.离开你的爱
10.悸动

03.聊天

這是第幾天　這一座城市每天在下雪
彷彿在嘲笑我　現在的心很冬天

這是第幾遍　你口中的快樂要我成全
你沒點頭說抱歉　我卻回首說再見

最後　我們聊著天
我們約在當年　你表白的咖啡店
真的　可惜了昨天　當時拍的好多照片

一天　累積成一年
我們愛的熟練　現在都變成紀念
若有　機會在聊天　我的心會藏很遠

朋友　簡單的聊天　希望會有那一天

Claire, My Sweetheart, I'll Heart you always...

Chromosomes de Bio

2010-05-21T05:40:00.000-07:00

So... this is Meiosis II i suppose?

Exam is currently driving me hysteric. Ahhhhh~ Now that History paper is over, and i shall clean away the storage in my head which is making it heavier and heavier, and left it blank temporarily for 2 days. English paper is on its way. And i'm currently digging out all the bombastic words which i've learnt, hoping that i shall impress Ms Singam with good sentences constructed using sophisticated vocabulary.

... Forget about it! That's the hardest task ever!

I guess i'll be engrossed in all the meiosis and mitosis stuffs for the whole weekend. The chromosomes are so cute! As if butterflies and dragonflies with their centromere-heads flying out of the book linearly towards me face! And the cleavage furrow! It looks like a tomato which is going to burst anytime at the wrinkled part. Sometimes i even poke at it with my pencil head! Owh! Bio is just so cute!

Tee Hee! First time feeling so proud with my own drawing!

I ~~love~~ Bio!

You make it real for me

2010-04-30T06:15:00.000-07:00

There's so much craziness, surrounding me

There's so much going on, it gets hard to breathe

I tried to wake up early in the morning. Well, i did as you can see. A mug of non-sugar Milo right beside me, who is right in front of a lively friend. The initial notion to study was like-- aww.. c'mon~ just forget about it- faded. I've got a whole list to do today. I hate homework. In fact, I like revision more than homework. And just last night, I found out a shocking truth, that i actually adore History more than any other subjects. Am i going insane?

Had an enjoyable chat with Brian at the bus stop last afternoon. And oh.. he reminded me of something, which i've never ever expect myself to think of it. Cuz it's too abstract. Blur. But i gotta catch up with the old reminiscence, before the memories faded like the notion i'd been having this morning. I never count. Brian count for me, and he said it's like almost 2 years? I was like 'Wow~ Really that long?'. I don't know why i'll said it's long. 2 years are far too short for a human's life, 2 years are too short for a sapling to grow into a big tree, 2 years are too short for the Sun to glow in the mighty universe. But two years to nurture and maintain a good relationship isn't short at all. From pure uncertainty to a strong confirmation. It has been a long journey. Tears, laughter and joys. These are the elements that i've been sharing with you these two years. And you never know every one of them meant so much to me. I keep every note you handed to me, carefully and nicely. I read all your messages word by word, fearing that i might miss any one of them. I cried bitterly the first time i'd been so worry about you. I chuckled silently beneath the blanket the first time u told me that you miss me. I jot down the promises we've made with my nicest handwriting, so that one day they will turn out to be as nice as i have expected them to be. Gradually, i'm getting used to it, glued to it. Now i realized that these are the habits i cannot live without. These are the habits that teach me how to listen, how to care and how to love. It is this relationship between you and me that makes us grow as i handle it with so much care and gentle.

2 more days and the day of your birthday will come.
And i shall dream for the stars
To make it a starry night
When i shall say

Happy Birthday!

Happy Anniversary to Mom and Dad!

You left me half hanging

2010-04-18T22:13:00.000-07:00

Some went, some stay, some came....
and they made my smile-curve half hanging.

Dear doiki,

I think next time you better call straightly to my house.

Yours sincerely,

..........................
(Ouch...)

Waiting for the sunrise at East

2010-04-10T18:19:00.000-07:00

When things are in a mess, i rather stick back to the cam!

Exhausted is a word that i can use to describe myself for this instance. Staying back almost everyday has steadily become a routine of mine. And what's more sad than talking to you with a tiring voice through the phone and worried you.

I'm completely lost now. Lost that i don't know why am i doing these things which i'm doing now. What's the purpose behind all this efforts of mine? Are they worthy? Once, this is the life i was hoping to possess. Back to that time, i had only little things to cherish, yet so much time for so few things. Yes. Now i have the life that i once wished to have. But in turn, i lost some of the things that actually belong to me. Those things are so abstract that i won't even realised i've lost them and am continuing losing them if this reminiscent hadn't strike me.

Now that everyone has their own business to mind. Catching up studies, busy with curricular activities, quarrels, etc. They made me miss the older times more. The slant is getting wider and it's impossible to get back to the starting point unless..... Sometimes, i will think of giving up things i'm having now. But, it's really difficult. After all, it wouldn't change the situation at all.

Sticking back to the cam!

I want you to know that
It's truly good to have you girls as friends.

EO=R

2010-03-12T06:01:00.000-08:00

Sunshine is drizzling over me-head, and i feel a sense of relief.

This was indeed what came into my mind when Modern Maths paper is over. Seriously, i was so not serious in this first exam in my form-4 life. Aww... what to do? Everything's so new! I totally screwed up all my science subjects except chemistry. Well, to think optimistically, that's still a good thing, isn't it? Don't even bother to talk about Add-Maths. Duh...=.="

And once again, Happy Birthday to Wenyi!
Just like someone and someone, we've been knowing each other for the 10th year!

Rushing the train

2010-02-19T06:46:00.000-08:00

LOL so where should i start? It seems like i've got a trillion things yet to be posted up here.

So, back to the week before CNY started, there are so many sales going on in our school. Leo Club, Art Club, Chinese Club, and even Quarter Master who started to grab business among the students this year! Wow~ So all sorts of presents can be seen. Lollies, chocolates, mandarins, cards, etc. Sorry i didn't buy any presents for anyone (pocket's getting tight), but i really appreciate those who gave me. Thanks! =)

The crystallization of kinship

And on two days before Valentines, i got the biggest package ever. Kinda shocked when you handed that to me. It surprised me enough for the whole day. Thank you very much xiao hai zi! I'll keep the teddy at my bedside and stares at him like how he will stare at me every night in the dark. LOL

Tata! Handsome profile of teddy!

Next, it's CNY! Exciting? Anxious? Everything will turn out to be nostalgia in the end when u realize that everything is not the same anymore. Faces changed, height changed, people changed as well. Well, there is not a particular good or bad, just i will always miss the smaller, shorter me everytime i go back to Seremban or Linggi. And who knows what the reason is?

Damn! I'm cam-whoring on the 1st day of CNY! Really can't resist the temptation of being in the camera...

until i don't know how to pose anymore. =.="|

I know it's lame but who cares?

In the end, my camera ran out of battery the next day. It turns out that i had to use my mom's hand-phone's camera to snap pictures. We were at Dong-Zen temple the next day! It had been years since the last time i'd been there. The decorations this year is superb! Too bad i miss the chance to snap a picture of mine in front of the rotating tiger.

Cute^^

The 1st time i'd seen real Lagenaria sicerarias!

Seem like this post is too long and i'm rushing all the way. So, Yuee Huoy's birthday outing will be in the next post!

Preparing for school.... So much homework yet to be done!! Exam is coming!! Oral test!! Awww....

The word that starts with N

2010-02-15T21:16:00.000-08:00

♥Do Re Mi

Somehow, we look quite alike.

Nostalgia

Intro In-thru

2010-02-05T05:41:00.000-08:00

I think i'm still searching for that one thing.

So, high school life isn't really that great after all. Besides tons and tons of homework and quite a lot of unfamiliar subjects, i can't really find any other word or phrases which best suit form-4.

Well, forget about the homework. Talk about the people, my classmates, my friends. 4S1 is indeed a long way differ from 3T. And i really miss the previous years. Depression always rouses when reminiscence occupies the entire mind. Somehow, you could see the changes undergone by everyone over these past two years. From the way they think, they act, the smiles, the way they talk, etc. People went and came. Lots more.

Unexpectedly, i've been serving BSMM for more than two years. This is the third year, and also the second last year for me to show my commitment to the society. To remain committed for such long years is not at all an easy effort. It requires a lot of passion and enthusiasm, as well as time and perspiration. Back to when i was form-1, I started joining BSMM, but i didn't really serve it. I used to play truants and skip the activities. Bad bad girl huh? So, here came the time when i was in form-2, i started joining the marching team for the sake of fun. And guess what? I started loving it. And that was when i really started to give my commitment to the society. From marching to first-aid. Not a single one had i missed. Our achievement during sports day that year was indeed a fantastic shot. Not one of us remember a single thing about pumping and the hot hot sun when we hugged and scream and jumped jubilantly for our success.

Oh, this was last year!

This was the 1st time we went out for competition at UiTM.

As for this year, i'm sure that we will win again!
BSMM rox!
ohm-!

Shame and Sorry

2009-12-27T21:41:00.000-08:00

It had been days for me being absent here. And i should be pleased that I get the chance now. But things always turn the other way round when you look at it. It's a mishmash i've just stumbled up to, which i don't know how to describe right now.

I'm feeling miserable. Like a little girl, standing right in the middle of a busy road. Turn around. A speeding car. Too late huh? There's always excuses. But this time, i'm not going to allow the excuses to roam freely around me, disguising my guilt. Because this time, i was really wrong. I failed. I failed to lend you a helping hand, or even a piece of comforting words, at the moment you need me the most. Not that i am greatly vital to cure your sadness. But as a friend, i failed to do the least thing that a friend should do when you are in need. Browsing through your blog, i saw all the heart-warming comments. Some were from our bunch, some were even friends that you have never met before. I don't dare to say that i'm your best mate in school. But at least, as someone who had been sitting the same desk-to-desk with you for two years in school, i feel ashamed. I'm so sorry. Sorry for being late. Sorry for being dumb.

Cheer up my friend! Everything will soon be ok.

And i hope that i can still be here for you. If you are willing to forgive me.

Snowflakes in my heart

2009-12-22T20:32:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was Dong Zhi. What i expected the most is the Tang Yuan! It was fun spending my whole evening rubbing the glutinous rice with mom. After all, Dong Zhi only comes once a year. It was like playing with the clay, like what i used to do in kindergarten. Rubbing and rubbing the glutinous rice into balls, it reminded me a lot of my childhood. Whatever it was, they made me smile in this what i called 'the worst year-end' in my life so far. Take a look at our masterpiece! The Tang Yuan just looked sooo cute with the mixing colours. The soup tasted so sweet! And... er-hem. I ate a lot! ♥

Ever seen anything so nice? It's completely home-made!

I wonder...

2009-12-01T06:51:00.000-08:00

Been cleaning my room recently. Piles and piles of books which I've neglected since the punch-drunk mental ride faded away from me. And as i was pondering what to do with them, here came a note which took my eyes in surprise. I kept staring at the childish hand-writing of mine many years ago. I think it's about 7 years ago? Wow... and i'm still keeping this half-crumpled piece of note. I wonder.... if the promise stated on the note is still valid?

Anyone still keeping it like me?

Read at your own risk

2009-11-25T21:32:00.000-08:00

卷缩在床角，抬头望着逐渐发黑的天空。
再过几个小时，一天——又这么过去了。
多扫兴的画面。
我宁愿把头缩回被子里去。
至少在里头可以找回一丝丝温暖。
原本冷冰冰的被子啊，被我这么缩起来抱着，抱得那么紧，不变暖才怪。

对呀
最近天气都好冷好冷。
在屋子里更难找到一小块暖暖的地方。

想泡泡网络，却没想到面子书最近比我家还要冷。
简直是夺命。

单调的假期，就会衍生出单调的我。
单调的我，就会衍生出一个荒芜的部落格。
所以，慧文，你可千千万万不可以怪我。

算了。打到一半，又不知道该怎么接下去了。

还是去为自己调制一杯白开水比较实际。

life as a fugitive

2009-10-20T07:30:00.000-07:00

I’m a fugitive.

Yes. I’m a fugitive who had just escaped from the Punch-drunk Mental Ride for almost 1 week. Whatever it is, I’m bored. Really bored. Don’t punch me. How I wish that Punch-drunk Mental Ride is still ongoing, though I got to bury myself into the ridiculous hill of books.

The fun and joy only last for a few days. Now I’m getting more like a fugitive who has got no place to go. Now in the night I won’t bury myself in my comfy seed-bed before the 1st odd number struck the clock. I just sit there night-dreaming, listening to my radio sings. Thus, the next day in the morning, I wake up sluggishly, compellingly, only to find that every one has started their work except me. So, I make myself a cup of not-so-hot Milo and sit down under the fan, flipping the newspapers. I know it’s really enjoying. But it’s worst than a millionaire who throws his scrumptious food into the sea, cuz I’m actually throwing time! You won’t wanna know what I do in the afternoon.

So, I’m giving myself 3 options:
- find books-for-rent
- find a part time job
- take up a course

Books. I love books. I love the fragrance of books. I don’t think I’m a keen reader, but I love books. Books calm me. Books occupy me. Books please me. But there’s one thing I don’t like about books. Books burn a hole in my pocket! So, I gotta rent. But where in the world I’m going to find a book-renting store? I know. My friends are my book-renting stores. FOC some more. Hehe.

Part time job. I know I’m foolish, but taking up a part time job is always my dream. Part time job seems nice. Even being a waitress in a restaurant seems fun to me. Besides earning money, I hope to penetrate the little world of mine to take a look in the overwhelming outside-world. How hasty it is? How erratic it is?

Course. Any kind of course. Computer, design, art craft, language…. But it needs to be something special, a course which seldom people take. Surely not Japanese course or cooking. Anyway, it depends on my erratic and ever-changing interests. So, I guess I will probably make this as my last option.

Oh gosh~ I’m crapping! Cuz I’m boring!

childhood mémoire

2009-10-20T07:28:00.001-07:00

When I were still a child…

If I were still a child, never ever grow up, but things do change according to what they should be, I guess I’m no longer the same me now. Somehow, I got a feeling that things only get worst after a period of time and they will never get better. Perhaps it’s because every time I wonder about anything I prefer, just then I realize that they are always far back in my past.

I have 2 adorable cousins. Everyone in the family used to say that it was a miracle that the 3 of us were given birth in the same year. I don’t quite remember the atmosphere when the 3 of us first met each other. Perhaps a little bit awkward plus a stream of joy. After all we were just babies. Soon, we learnt words and got used to talking. We learnt about each others’ names. Pretty soon, we found out that our faces changed so rapidly as well as our height! You don’t know how joyous my aunts and uncles, as well as dad and mom were when they were comparing our heights. I loved to watch them talking about the 3 of us. I enjoyed holding the microphone and singing along the sentimental songs with my aunt in a childish tone. I loved Chinese New Year, when everyone gathered at the old house. Yea, it all happened in the old house, where all my childhood mémoire were attached to. No divorce, no argues, no deaths. Only laughter. Lots of laughter.

I have thin hair since I was a small girl. So I always keep my hair short. But I do love ponytails. When I was small, mom always tried to put stuffs on my hair to please me. I loved the way she stroked my hair with her tender hands, even if the rubber bands were making me painful. She bought me lots of fancy hair bands till I could actually make a collection. But too bad, I don’t remember where I had put them. But I do remember that I didn’t throw any of them.

Ha! Don’t laugh! I actually adore Teletubies when I was small. (If you don’t know what’s teletubies, then just ignore this paragraph and jump to the other.) I guess I was about 4 or 5 years old that time, cuz my even childish brother was not even exist that time. I remember myself attending kindergarten in the morning and mom would help me to record the show which was shown in the morning. It was quite a hard task as CDs were not existed that time. What my mom used is actually called a tape, which you can hardly find one in the market now. It’s just like a cassette, but much more bigger. Once it is played, the content is gone. I don’t quite remember what the story is about, but I remember I had a good time watching the show every afternoon. I even collected stickers of them!

Sorry! No more paragraphs. Just trying to sweep off the boredom.

She don't know why. She just cry.

2009-09-22T06:50:00.000-07:00

The glimmering sunlight that penetrated through the curtains, slowly seeped in through the space between my eyelids, following by the brand new oxygen. I woke up with a startle. Oh, a new day? I was not on my bed. Nor was i lying on top of my messy desk. I was right there in that scanty corner. A place i used to like, cuz it just fit my whole body whenever i squad or sit inside there. A place where no one could sense me there if he doesn't take a deep look inside my room. I used to have intimate conversations there. I used to read there. I used to sing there. I used to cry there. It just seems this is the place which suits me the best in this not-too-small house.

So, for the entire last night, i slept there. I don't know why. All i could remember is the rain which got heavier and heavier. The wind swooped in through the window which was left open and just made me sneeze a couple of times. Not willing to move a little, i huddled myself up more tightly, and just slowly slowly fell asleep. Time just passed so fast, cuz my face was still slightly wet and slippery near the cheeks in the morning. I wiped it dry with the back of my hand and just got up as i picked up the tissues which mopped away the wetness of the night.

Fancy

2009-08-25T07:50:00.000-07:00

I really appreciate the wonders which are chained between us. Like a piece of melodious music. Lingering around the beams. How i wish 'forever' does exist....

I'm missing______

Till the next time we meet

2009-07-31T06:56:00.000-07:00

Pn. Ross, you truly rocks!

It had been almost 3 years. And not to mention that 3 years really means a lot. And it was really more than fate when a teacher can teach a student and a student can be taught by the same teacher continuously for almost 3 years.

I was so glad and relieved to find this picture in one of my files. The only pic of me with Pn Ross. At least, I've got some memory with her. It was really unexpected. A teacher, whom i didn't actually care and notice so much, suddenly came in and declared the last day of her being in our class and watching us growing in a deteriorating school. I don't know if it's a lucky or a saddened thing for her. But something tells me that she is reluctant to leave us. So as us. My mind suddenly went blank when i learned about her leaving. But acting non-chalant is always the best thing that i could do. I stayed at my own place doing my own stuff, fooling around tricking the others with rubber bands. I was thinking and thinking... Should i go up to the teacher and wish her all the best? Or should i ask her to write a few words in my notebook? At least, I want some memory. She's a great teacher. I knew it right from the start. She's the best teacher I've ever met in my almost-3-year of secondary school. The prettiest smile she has and the warmest hug she has got. I could just feel tears roaming invisibly inside me when i got the greatest hug from Pn Ross. TT

-Pn Rosshirllyzza-
Will miss you so much...
All the best!

11.06 p.m.

The tale of a silly girl.

2009-07-14T06:00:00.000-07:00

One week has gone. And i haven't update my blog since one week ago. Quite a lot of things happened ya? This was the first time, since i started blogging 2 years ago, that i don't really feel like posting. Though quite a lot of things did happened. Though i'm actually not that busy. Though i actually felt like expressing without limitations. I really want to shout! Shout out loudly for the first time in my life. But there isn't any place for me to shout either. That's impossible for me to shout in the school or on the crowded streets. People will think that i'm a fugitive who had just escaped from the mental problem hospital. I can't shout at home. My dad will surely give me a big slap till my trap goes shut! The only place where i can shout as long, and even as high pitch as i can--this small space which i own it myself, my personal territory, occupied by the abundance of my up-down feelings. It's like flipping over the immature photos of mine when i reread the older posts. What a silly girl!

I cried. Cause i'm still that silly girl. Never ever grow up. Acting childish without that puerile breathing. I always claim that my parents don't ever understand my situation. But actually so do i. I was really on the verge of a nervous breakdown that night, and i was so sorry that i cried. I shouldn't have cried. I could hear how my mom spoke up for me that day through the crevice of the toilet door. Guilt roams up my chest whenever i recall how my dad lay on the sofa in great devastation that day after seeing me cry. My heart aches when my dad still willing to meet my wills by buying me costly skirts as my Leo-U. I really feel bad about every single thing which i've done. Nothing seems to fit into the right place.

The only thing that seems to go into the right place is.... yea... the right place to cry. The right person to cry to. Somehow, I just thought of telling him all the things i'd encountered that night. I don't know why, but he seems to be the only person who gushed into my mind when my tears started to drop, and my mind told me that he can make me feel better. And he really did. Though i kept on crying on the phone, and maybe murmuring into the phone something that he couldn't understand what i was talking about. But he just stay there, right there, listening to my cryings and discomforts, cracking jokes to make this silly girl laugh like hell. I just want to tell him that i really appreciate what he had done. Thank you! ^^

So, I'd promised him that i'll take good care of myself all the way until PMR ends. 90 days to go!

10.58pm. I still have time to brush my teeth and change before 11.15pm. I keep my promise.

Loss and weariness

2009-07-04T22:07:00.000-07:00

Love at the lips was touched,
As sweet as I could bear;
And once that seemed too much,
I lived on air.

-by Robert Frost (To Earthward)

I was blinded entirely by what i was possessing right then. Too much. Too much that i didn't even realized that I had to hold my breath before the quiet water sank me down. So gently. So tenderly. So softly. I miss that drop of water that spilled the chills all over me, so that I could have the chance to yearn for the warmth that I'm losing. Day by day.

I hope what i'd chosen is actually what i want.

2009-06-19T20:25:00.000-07:00

Oh how i miss the times when i still believe that one day i can fly high up in the azure sky.

It's really hard to forget when you are actually yearning for it.

Now i gotta make myself really clear, what am i actually yearning for? All these years of studying blindly, I'd come to a turning point. A turning point which i have to start making choices. There should be less hesitation now. Just like a flying eagle. It has to decide its direction and destination resolutely, so that it won't end up banging it's head into a tree. But all these years i'd been the followers. A blind followers. Turning me into a splash of water, without any specific directions. I was yanked.

...

Sometimes i say don't when i actually do.
Sometimes i say yes when i actually don't feel that way.
Sometimes i act ignorant when i actually know something.
Sometimes i act nonchalant when it's actually not.

...

Yea.. why huh? I wonder.

No other reason. It's all because I'm not that kinda person who can stand the circumstances of being excluded from the conversation. I don't want to be a social outcast. But does that mean that i gotta discard the qualities which i actually possessed? Yea. I have to. I am now landing in a ruthless world, surrounding by brutal competitions. And i have to choose, what is the thing that i actually want? A stunningly beautiful person who is the focus of discussion among everyone, or just an ordinary person without any distinguished talent? If i'd picked the latter, will i be satisfied with that mere shadow of mine?

I guess no one of my age will spend their precious time to think about these superfluous words and sentences which is racking my brain now. Everyone's busy. Busy to bring themselves closer to their goal. Time's getting closer and closer. It's less than four months time, before i'll saunter into the grim examination hall as they do, bringing along the knowledge which i'd gain in these 3 years time. It's an equivocal outcome. It's either success or failure.

Yesterday was the 1st time i'd sipped a cupful of milkshake and ate an ice-cream in a cone. ^.^"|

Nostalgia

2009-06-16T06:47:00.000-07:00

I'm just a little person,
One person in a sea,
Of many little people,
Who are not aware of me.

School started. And I'd crossed the border of the school gate with a new hairstyle (well that's the funniest part after all). Well, school started, that means no more fooling around, no more lying on the bed thinking about something that cracks the pot. And of course, no more spending time arousing my own nostalgia by looking through the old stuffs (That's what i usually in my room). Well, did i ever say that i like keeping old stuffs? Old stuffs, doesn't mean stuffs which are really old, but stuffs which remind me of the old times. Sometimes they just redden my eyes and cause serious flooding inside me.

Time flew off like the breeze. You'll never get back the same kind of cooling.

...
But the chocolates still taste the same way they used to be.
Thanks for remembering them!

You are special

2009-06-12T07:37:00.000-07:00

I've forgotten how many years ago since we first knew each other. More than 10 years i guess. Longer than any of my relationship with any of my friends. Though we have nothing in common, but everytime you seem to attract me to talk to you. Though we just met not more than 3 times a year, but u seem to know me more than any of my friends does. Thank you! You had given me a lotz.

To be continue . . .

5 post of cutting cake by CYS LOL

2009-06-09T07:24:00.000-07:00

CYS: Hmm... These people a.... suddenly treat me so good.... there is sure to have a prawn behind a rock. Hehehe.... I'll wait and see what chu gonna do. Walao... YYC is laughing madly... U thought i cannot see a?

CYS: Heng! Rupa-rupanya they want me to cut the cake. Wah... Who's the birthday star now? Me leh... Herh! >< U guyz should cut for me leh! But never mind. =) It's such an easy task. Come! Gimme the knife!

CYS: Walao~ How come so hard one? Hmph~ =.="|

CYS: Argghh!!! Cannot la~ Gotta stand up. U guyz wait and see lar.... I sure can cut it one!

At last...

Come la... We help u! Aiyo~ We waited very long already la.... When only can we eat the cake?
XD

Tagged by Jojie^^

2009-06-09T06:15:00.000-07:00

1. How did you feel when you woke up this morning?
Relieved?

2. Would you consider yourself as a well-being person?
Not really. (Hoho... dun underestimate me.... Mwahaha~)

3. Have you ever visited an orphanage or an old folk's?
Nope. But i know it's a great thing to do. Hope to go for a visit there some day.

4. Have you ever had a best friend who is trustworthy?
Yes.

5. Do you want someone to be dead?
Of course not. But for those bastards, it's a Yes.

6. Do you love to go to school?
Sure. Cuz you're there.... hehe... (shh...)

7. Who was the last person who texted you?
VIP. (Whoever that texted me sure have VERY IMPORTANT THINGS to tell me.) XD

8. Do you want any food to eat right now?
Yea.... i need ice-cream. I'm too hot! XD

9. What are you doing right now?
Playing with the alphabets on the keyboard?

10. What are you thinking right now?
Jojie, you are so awesome. LOL

11. List 15 lucky people whom you tag:
Everyone deserves to be lucky. Do you want to be a lucky person? The decision is in your hands. XD

2009-06-02T06:27:00.000-07:00

It's a long long awaiting night.
I kept my eyes open
As the cold breeze seeped through my skin.
And you are the reason for my insomnia.

Hey all! I'm back! Not just from the camp, but also free from the subconscious fear of and staying up late due to the tiring exam. Lotsa plans going on for this holiday. Hope everything will go on as one wished.

So, for the camp. It was way more comfortable, as compared to the previous one. I still remember last year, we had to eat using our hand. But this year, they prepared plastic spoons for us, though it was not so environmental-friendly. The accommodation and lavatories were also much more better. Except for the playful monkeys ransacking our room and sneaking away our potato chips. Haha. Too bad i didn't manage to get a picture of them. They are really cute and brilliant at sneaking our tit-bits, much more better than the ants at my house. ><

Been sleeping for 10++ hours last night until this morning. My head is truly aching, and i really didn't feel like waking up. The whole day went on pretty bad. I didn't even know where had my mood vanished to. Having a silent-quarrel with dad just now during lunch time. He had totally spoiled my mood of munching the sausage sandwich and sipping the bowl of mushroom soup. z.z The rest of the day was totally ruined.

Sometimes i just don't get it. Why can't adults think as rationally as what we can think? I'm already 15. Not a 5 year old girl. Didn't they realise about this? All these years i had tried my very best to be their perfect daughter. And now i'm really tired of it. I have my own desires too. I have my rights to choose what i want and to speak out my opinions too. Why can't they just listen to what i want? Why do they always just look and think about the worst parts? How about the best and beautiful parts? Can't they see them?

I just want to let you know dad, the reason i got angry was not because you don't let me out, for you just couldn't give me a reasonable reason why i shouldn't be out.

Lullaby

2009-05-22T18:52:00.000-07:00

心墙 - 郭静

一个人　眺望碧海和蓝天
在心里面　那抹灰就淡一些
海豚从眼前飞跃
我看见了最阳光的笑脸
好时光都该被包庇　因为有限
我学着不去担心得太远
不计划太多　反而能勇敢冒险
丰富地过每一天　快乐的看每一天
Wooh～
第一次遇见阴天遮住你侧脸
有什么故事好想了解
我感觉我懂你的特别
你的心有一道墙　但我发现一扇窗
偶尔透出一丝暖暖的微光
就算你有一道墙
我的爱会攀上窗台盛放
打开窗你会看到悲伤融化
我学着不去担心得太远
不计划太多　反而能勇敢冒险
丰富地过每一天　快乐的看每一天
Wooh～
第一次遇见阴天遮住你侧脸
有什么故事好想了解
我感觉我懂你的特别
你的心有一道墙　但我发现一扇窗
偶尔透出一丝暖暖的微光
就算你有一道墙
我的爱会攀上窗台盛放
打开窗你会看到悲伤融化
你的心有一道墙　但我发现一扇窗
偶尔透出一丝暖暖的微光
就算你有一道墙
我的爱会攀上窗台盛放
打开窗你会看到悲伤融化
你会闻到幸福晴朗的芬芳

OMGsh~! I'm so addicted to this song right now. This song is luring me to switch on my computer again! >.<

Singing in the trees

2009-05-22T01:37:00.000-07:00

Claire's new album had just released!

-Singing in the trees-

01 在树上唱歌
02 明白
♥03 心墙
04 牛角尖
05 简单
06 Goodbye
07 蒙娜丽莎
08 三部曲
09 不说
10 看见

♥ her

(: It's exam season! Are you stressed? C'mon. Give yourself a break! :)

I need coffee. I seriously need coffee. The sweet sweet aroma. How i wish it could scattered my sleepiness away like the wind i drew this morning. Yawwwnneee~ Just came back from school. It's weekend again. A busy weekend. But i'm still blogging right here. Exam is yanking me in two. But i'm still right here relaxing. No doubt. I'll just simply fall asleep once i started studying. Once i sleep, it's difficult to get up again. So, i rather go on9 than to let my bones and head ache.

Serves me right if my results turn out like a piece of 'sheet'.

Enjoy the play list. This is the only song which i momentarily found nice in the whole album. This album possesses songs with a variety of styles, which are quite different from the previous album. Too bad they doesn't quite suit my taste. But i still adore her a lots. She's sweet, charming, cute and lovely.

Mental breakdown?

2009-04-30T07:14:00.000-07:00

Anger gushed up to my head, and i guess that's why my brain couldn't interpret accurately. I scolded him madly in front of everyone during the assembly when actually i could settle it with another better way. I don't know why i will react so extravagantly this morning. I really don't know and seriously, i feel bad about it. I regretted so much when all the eyes flashed towards me, in a so-shocked way, as though i had wheels in my head. I quickly ran away from their astonished expressions. I hate being looked that way, as though as i had just made a fool of myself. My face was a piece of red, that i had to make some wind for myself with the file. Luckily the boy didn't resist and he shut his mouth up like he had suddenly lost his tongue.

This was the first time i scolded someone so badly since a long time ago.

I guess i've got a mental breakdown. I'm really not in my mood recently. I scolded everything that i was not pleased with. And it seems that i was not really pleased with everything. OMGsh~ Neeeeed help!

Dad has gone hiking at Johor. Mom acted as if nothing was the matter. But i knew exactly what she thinks and feels. Tomorrow is the 16th anniversary of dad and mom. But dad's not with mom. How would she feel? I gazed affectionately after his receding figure, till the car was completely out of sight. I wish him a safe journey, though he is o forgetful.

Hereby, Happy Birthday to all the Birthday Stars!

Ji Xiong
Wee Wei
Joel

Happy Anniversary to my dad and mom!
Hope things will get better soon.

Get well soon! To myself.
You can get through this!

I hope i can still be everyone's "Ah Jie", though i've done something which "Ah Jie' should not have done.

Will the Sunday Plan works out perfectly? I'm so not sure.

Life in 3T

2009-04-28T07:25:00.000-07:00

You lighten up my days,
Filled my heart with pride and joy.
You made school the best place for me to go.
Thank you, all of u! ^^

Racked

2009-04-25T22:52:00.000-07:00

*frustrated*

Whoever can sense my moroseness right now, he or she might be someone more suitable to be me than ME. Haiz... right now i'm looking at the screen of the computer with two bobby panda eyes, still exposing myself to 546461212344% radiation which can be much more fatal than what i can think. Yeah..... i'm seriously dying. My curfew is delaying day by day. Mom and dad seem very unpleased with this matter. And so, every night, I have to switch off my bedroom lights completely, left only the whirling of my ceiling fan, and pretend to be asleep. My ear sticks closely to the door, waiting for the light outside to fade, and my dad's bedroom door to be closed for the second time, then only i can tip-toed myelf to the switches and continue my work. I dare not to switch on the main light, not wanting mom who's sleeping next door to know that i'm still awake. And when it's two by midnight, i'm already fully exhausted. I can feel that my adrenaline is working really slow. Too bad i don't drink coffee. =0= (yawning...aaaa...)

Yesterday was the prize giving day in my school. Got my certificate and also a stack of Popular cash vouchers. Not really a stack, but only a stack of 6. Should i get excited about it? Naaa..... Don't even have time to think what am i going to do with it. Give it to a book lover like Huiwen? Abolutely not! LOL Just kidding... Keep back my words.

It was really fun in school without lessons, just like yesterday. We were camwhoring in 4S2. Caleb was busy trying out my CO instrument, playing the front part of 晴天. Souns nice. Hahax. Lotsa pics were taken, but still, i don't have the time to download them into my computer (rather typing this random post). So, gotta wait for next time to upload them to my blog.

Curbing my desire to dash down straight to the TV. Mom's catching 珠光宝气. T.T I've missed a lot of it.

BSMM after Sports Day Marching.
YaY!

Victory!

2009-04-21T06:27:00.000-07:00

Hehe! A gold medal gained after weeks of perspiration and the team work formed. Though BSMM's marching team is already not as good as the previous year, but the results are still satisfying. And the best part is, we WON the gold medal!!! Those hugging after the results were announced, was so soothing, though we were standing under the hot sun. And when i said hot, it really means HOT! But take a look at the medal! It really worths!

By the way, Pengakap's formation was truly nice. I bet they sure racked their brain hard to make up something so impressive enough to let us feared that BSMM might somehow lose. However, it was really unexpected that Pengakap didn't even get the second. It was such a pity. Anyway, there are really good in my mind. So as Kadet Polis. They are terrificly 'serentak'.

Leave-ing

2009-04-10T21:47:00.000-07:00

I should not be typing this right now. I'm still not awake from the mist. Sometimes i really yearn for leaving though i don't hope to leave those precious' behind. Leave, momentarily, or maybe forever. There are so many ways to leave, an easy one and also the difficult ones. But it really needs a lot of confident to have a try on the easy one. Perhaps with a pocket knife, or a bottle of sleeping pills, or even a towel will do. Putting a well-written letter on the desk, to my mom and dad, to those who always ready to help, and also the special one. And the last step, i'll close my eyes and stare at the dimness. Without grudge, sauntering forward to a new path, where no one knows me, where i can live in my own way.

I know this is absolutely ridiculous. But this brutal reality is slowly yanking myself into two, as if it's slowly threatening me to death. I can't and i don't know how to differentiate the good and the evil. Every step of mine makes up a trudging walk of life. I have to ponder and wonder carefully to avoid ominous trap. There's no one i can utterly believe to and i don't know why. Perhaps there's still one, or two. But i'm scared. What if they're not? What if there's a grim truth in it? What if everyone is meant to leave me cringing in a murky corner, alone?

Why are these questions keep on diverting me away from the right path of life?

Why are these questions keep on emerging in my thoughts when they don't actually exists in real life at all?

I promise to smile, and i will.

I'm not actually emo-ing. I'm just trying to curb my silence.

Leave-ing---

Till the next time we met.

P/S:

Adrift

2009-03-31T06:36:00.000-07:00

Life seems to go adrift momentarily. I'm in love with sleeping recently. Once i lay myself on the icy quilt, my mind will go drifting, everywhere. Feel aimless, powerless.... And so, sleeping become the best thing to run away from the thoughts. In my dreams, I dreamt of the people i cared so much, the things i chased so hard. They were once in reality, but now they only exist in my dreams. They are the deja vu i wish to experience once again, as many times as i can.

I'm fear of losing.

I don't want everything i own now to be a deja vu.

I want everything to last.

Regaining power from my dreams. I'm finding a reason- a reason to wake up.

Teardrops on my violin

2009-03-24T06:52:00.000-07:00

I always wonder if i ever need a counseling. I really want to know what's the problem with me right now. Those two adults who are staying with me are driving me crazy. What the heck are adults thinking? Are they the same as kids snatching toys too? Why are they making a dinner sounds more like a court. Every mouthful of food i swallow is killing me deadly. It's not like a dinner at all. It's more like a tears-forcing back session. I wanna leave the table as quickly as i can, but the food on the table is like automatic-refilled, no matter how big mouthful I'd eaten, the rice in my bowl is still at the same level. And they taste so bad.

I wanna cry, cry as hardly as I can. But i can't. I need something to trigger me. I need a good reason for crying, so that my tears are not wasted.

Mom's like that, dad's like that. I don't even know what's the point of hanging around this house. This few days i keep locking myself in my room, for as long as i can. I don't want to see their faces, the faces which contains something which i hated so much. I hate the way they look at each other. I hate! I hate! I hate everything in this house!

I want to leave.

I cried.

I failed to force my tears back.

I wasted them, on something i shouldn't have.

I saw.... teardrops on my violin.

Hols

2009-03-17T05:45:00.000-07:00

Time begins to trip along much more quickly than before. I realised I can't be spending too much time on day dreaming anymore. Half of the March holidays have gone, but look at the mess in my room. Books untouched, bags unwashed, book racks uncleaned.... and lots more. A momentary guilt started to rise. But recalling of the moments i spent on solving Sudokus and soaking myself in the saturation of 'New Moon', those mess are just like crusts. I will never ever realised their importance unless i'm on the verge of 'starvation'. But i guess i'm gonna 'starve' myself to death soon together with the ending of this holiday. OMGsh~* I really hope to get back to school soon, but there are just too many homework yet to be done and i'm truly lazy this time.

=.="

Been solving this 16x16 puzzle for almost 2 days. But it's still unsolved!!!
*frustrated* TT

Twilight series, I <3 you!
You've been occupied how many sleepless nights of mine...

Bro's problem

2009-03-13T20:08:00.000-07:00

March test were officially over now. Kinda relax. It's holiday time! And i know this is gonna be my very last get-to-enjoy holiday. After this, there are gonna be lots of projects and book-pumping yet to be done. And so, I plan to put down all the homework and household chores-- just focus on having fun! But too bad, Kingsley's birthday plan was canceled :(

Bro's gonna have a big problem. Actually, I don't know whether what dad said yesterday about bro in school is true or not. I thought bro is always a good student in school. I can't even believe a single word when my dad told me the whole thing in an angry tone-- mouth dropped, eyes big, with tears rolling inside. I don't know why tears did exist. Perhaps i was too damn disappointed. Why?? Why?? I can't think of a reason. I was not like that when i was in primary school last time. But how come bro inherited those bad attitudes in class? Playing, chatting, disturbing..... Lots of complaints, not just from his form teacher, but also from other subjects' teachers. And the thing that shocked me the most is the reason why my bro was elected as the class monitor. Teacher said, he has too many problems. And that's why, out of 50 students in the class, he is the 'lucky' one. Nope, i should say he is the 'special' one, whom teacher find it hard to control, and that's why, the teacher wants him to become the monitor so that he can control his own self. Cuz teacher has no way to control him anymore. However, he doesn't see the point. He thought 'he is great' is the reason he was chosen; and we thought 'No.1 in the class' is the main reason he was elected. None of us realizes the story behind. And i was so proud of him all the way. How stupid am i to believe that 'he is a good boy'.

Bro came home in a condition as what i'd expected. Reddened eyes, fulled with tears. I knew dad had started questioning him on their travel back from school. At first, bro didn't want to admit it. He said in a such innocent way, that he had never been punished by the teachers in school. Dad demanded him to recall carefully. And right before the bomb exploded, alas, bro admited that he was punished to come out to the front of the class, and sit on the simen floor for the whole lesson. Just him. Dad had also asked him what's the reason of being punished. But he hadn't answer. Dad got to rush to a restaurant nearby to have dinner with his friends at 8. Fortunately...

But bro was not that lucky. This time, it's mom's turn to explode. Due to an argue with dad in the evening, she was surely in an extra-bad mood. Bro was feared to see mom questioning him in a mad tone, and he was scared that mom will ban his ping-pong lessons- ping pong is his life. He ran awfully upstairs to his room and banged the door shut. I was sitting in front of the computer, chatting with several person, acting like the thing happened between bro and mom is totally none of my business. But deep in the heart, I don't know what should i do to settle all this. Surely, I don't have to settle all this matter. But i'm part of the family. He is my dearest brother. How could i let him to continue being a 'problem-student'? I am his sister. Who's gonna save him except me? I know i'm not good at counseling, but at least, i must do something.

Holidays here. Hereby i wish every one of u a Happy Holiday! Enjoy.

To Kingsley, a very Happy Birthday to you! I'm still looking forward that you'll change your mind. =X

To the president of Tg Rambutan XD, thanks a lot for your Ultimate sudoku! I'm gonna have fun this holiday! (Hehe... hope you don't mind.)

Expecting something.
Yet i don't know what it actually is.

The 1 last piece

2009-02-28T20:35:00.000-08:00

I'll always remember
The way it melts on my tongue
And how it cheers me up
When sadness take over my laughter
This is the way
How I used to live through the days.

I want myself back!

2009-02-27T04:18:00.000-08:00

I will be, all that you want
And get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life,
I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

There was 4 of us, staring at the not-so-big field. I got an earphone on one of my ear, while the other one i left it open to hear for the screaming, laughing and cries of one of us. She said she needs to release her exasperation. And she did, by screaming and scolding anything that she could think of. Even a bottle on the ground, a tree that doesn't grow any taller, a flying paper, etc.

I used to envy her a lot. Why can she express all her feelings such easily? Whereas i can't? She doesn't care about what other people think of her, whether they think there's something wrong with her or whatever. All she wants to do is, to make herself feel better.

But why can't I?

I just can't let go of the shield. I fear the way of what other people think of me. I fear people think that i'm weird, i'm spoilt, i'm proud, i'm kia su, etc. I always scare that i'll get excluded from the crowd, that people will dislike me, that people will leave me as far as possible. I don't know. I just hate this kinda.... silly thoughts, which keep me from being my own-self.

I keep secrets. Like my dad, there are just little people that i trust. I'm afraid to say that even there're certain secrets between me and my besties. Is this some kinda natural self-protection? Is it normal? I don't even trust my own family members. What i really used to trust all this way, is myself. I'm scared, i'm feared, of everything. "Who knows somebody is planning to backstab me one day?"-- This is what i used to think. I'm so sorry to think this way. I'm struggling hard, to find my own self back.

I want myself to be back!

But how??

***************************************

It's great to have a Kor.
Thx Kor!

Ideas in a stormy afternoon

2009-02-24T04:55:00.000-08:00

I heard the cloud freezing
Without a single sign of storming
And it all drifted into silence.

I dreamed of a dream.
And i saw u slowly approaching
Words by words
Telling me that you are leaving.

I kept on searching
In the darkening
When a flash came piercing through
The aroma was instantly filled with stinking blood
Without a single drop of red.

I was left
Lying in raging pain
Our story ends
But it all started again.

Mixed-up day

2009-02-20T05:35:00.000-08:00

First time playing with flour, sugar, butter and chocolate bits. And this is the work done! Sorry girls, i didn't help much. I nearly ruined the whole thing. Sorry MJ for giving you the wrong information on the sugar thingy. Aikss~

But luckily the cookies came out in a good manner. We had made too much. More then 3 trays i guess. They have good looks, as shown in the photo above. The taste is quite nice too. And more important is, it's COOKED! XD

A special note for KZZ bro--

Stay strong ya! Sis will always be by your side!
I'm so sorry for your grandpa.

Bombs

2009-02-06T05:36:00.000-08:00

He is the one who fetched me to and back from school every school day and whenever I have activities to attend in school. He is eager to bring lunchbox for me whenever I stay back in school. On account of that, i don't have to wake up early in the morning to catch a school bus. I don't have to buy lunch from the canteen if i want to. He always makes the most perfect arrangements for me.

Yet, he has made me a rose in the shelter. This shelter is too much over-protective that i started to feel uneasy. I don't know what's the problem with him right now, but both of us just can't talk for these few days. Seriously, yea... he did say something that hurt me a lot a few days ago. I cried through my sleep that night, and ended up having headache the very next morning.

Today might actually be a very great day for me, but not after he threw me a bomb once more when i got myself seated into the car. I had just walked out from the school gate, but he accused me that i was busy chatting with my friends and never noticed his car was there. I was so..... frustrated. The rest of the day i just keep on avoiding him, in case i got another bomb again.

I chose to lied to him today.

Wine freak

2009-02-06T04:44:00.000-08:00

I actually don't know how to drink wine. However, the permeable glowing red light of the red wine looks so beautiful with the outline of the wine glass. This is so much more than a temptation to me which I am unable to resist. Sip by sip, I slowly sent the fragrance of the wine into my throat. I spun into my dreams and missed your call.

Cousins

2009-01-30T06:26:00.000-08:00

Last year ^^

This year, we meet again!

Love u girls!

This boy

2009-01-30T05:04:00.000-08:00

There's this boy, lying rigidly on the white marble-tiled floor. One of his hands are in his mom's. The other one is left swinging blindly in the air. He can't talk. He can't see. He can only hear, and touch. I don't know whether he can feel my pity eyes flashing on him once a while. He seems to be enjoying the rhythm which is hummed in his mother's mouth right then. It is one of the Chinese New Year's songs. He is jubilant with his feet tapping rhythmically on the floor.

The rhythm stops. He stunned. The atmosphere suddenly cools down. He starts to panic. His hands shake more vigorously, finding for something hard to grab on. He starts to crawl. I am just sitting on the couch next to where he is. I am scared. Yes, i admit that. But i can't stop the fear myself. I don't know why. I try to stay where i am. But the nearer he comes, the more panic i get. The second he touches my feet accidentally, i straightly jumps up, acting like nothing has happened, and walks to the other corner. My eyes are still on him, this innocent boy. He doesn't mean it, i know. It's rude to treat him as some kinda weirdo, i know this too. But, i can't help myself too.

I'm sorry.

It's raining cats and dogs outside the car. I feel nauseating.

Untitled

2009-01-20T05:35:00.000-08:00

Too many unsure
Left lying on the leaflets
Sinking deep
Till they're unseenable
But they'll soon floats
Together with the misery
I just need a hand
To help me unfold those mystery.

Life since school reopened.

2009-01-16T04:54:00.000-08:00

Form 3, what a hectic year. I could hardly get myself some space, to do something i love to. I would feel uncomfortable whenever i don't touch a single reference books through the day. School has just started for the second week, but it seems like months for me. Perhaps it's due to the presence of the new headmistress. New person in charge of the school, that's why changes have to be made. I'm glad that these are good changes as the activities in school are being carried out faster and more systematic this year. The Road-Run competition is just next Friday! Whoa~ Can't believe it. This year i'm not running as the others. I'm going for duty as a BSMM member. It's my first time. Hope there will be zero-accidents on that day. My mind will really turn to complete blankness if there's really someone faints or slips down in front of me.

Lessons in school are so tense. But i'm kinda expecting History lessons this year. Pn Murugama is so hilarious, and she always tries to make us remember everything in school instantly. I got exactly all the informations she had taught us right in my mind now. Science is taught by Pn Hasnah. Not bad though she's famous for her ego. [No offense]

However, noises are starting to come out from the front of me. FYI, there is a pair of ever-quarelling couple sitting in front of me. I just can't help myself to stop laughing when i look at their acts. LOL~

2009 First Post

2009-01-02T01:25:00.000-08:00

I've always forgotten i how used to celebrated New Year in the past years. I've never been to any count down before,so as this year. I mean been inside the crowd, waiting for fireworks to shine, shouting altogether "3! 2! 1! Happy New Year!!". Oh, that really sounds good. But having parents who always treat these events indifferently, I guess I will not have the chance to sneak out this lonesome house and get high among those nocturnal amusements, NOT before I turn 18. U know, New Year's coming!! But they went to sleep even more earlier than usual days. Zzzz....... So, i got myself alone in my room, listening to the radio (at least there's still the DJ who talked for me to listen) and counting down oneself. That's the coming of my 2009~ Well, actually not that bad after all. Many sms kept on beeping after the clock strikes 12. I really appreciate all your wishes^^ Thx to all, friends~

The 1st day of 2009 was moody. I totally didn't have the mood to do anything at all. And so, i hang around the house, taking stuffs out, and thinking the stories behind.

1) Changing calendar.
It's ONE IN A TWENTY!
I chose it from a whole lots of calendars which mom brought back from office.
Green- my favourite colour.
And it suits my room.

2) Check it out!
It's January 2009!

3) Hehe... T-shirt that i've wore till now since i'm 5!
Amazing huh~?

4) Cutie elephant.
One of my favourite T-shirts when i used to be a kid.

5) My companions in my room.
Chubby The Dog from Sinyee and friends, Barbie from aunt,
Piggy from cousin, Kitty from Cikgu Azreen
And Garfield from my mom's brother.
They do warm up my room a lil.

6) Chocolates that i fond of.
There's still left 1 more in the box actually.
I already try to finish them as slooow as i can.
I really can't accept that it's gonna finish~ XD
This is truly the best box of chocolate that i've ever eaten.

7) Geez ^^ Another bar of chocolates for Christmas.
Hehe... Thank you!

8) Plants with love-like leaves.
Just found it in my garden.
Not planted by anyone,
but it grows up itself ^^

9) Friendship worm from MJ.
I'll always hang it on my pencil case.

10) Western bear!
One of my T-shirt's pattern.

11) I cut my fringe, myself.
But dad's not satisfied with it.
And he cut it for me once again!
Now i look exactly like a Yak Chee's student.
p/s: Do not laugh.

12) Rulers. LOL
Looks nice with a ribbon on it.

13) Birthday Cards.

Thx to all!

14) New Year! New resolution!
So, I made this specially for myself.
To inspire me--
Not to be a

lazy

cat like Garfield! XD
O sorry Garfield! I don't mean it. hahax.

++New Year! New wishlist! ++
i) Of course, Happy all the year ^^
ii) PMR straight As'?
iii) Grow TALLER!
iv) Hair grow longer and faster. XD
v) Stay simple! (simple is the best!)

Lastly...... left it for those who is reading this post right now.
Close ur eyes and think deep, what u really want?

2008, a year full of joy and laughter with a lil bit tears.
I've got the best birthday i've ever had. Thx to all my friends^^
I've make great, new friends, who lead me to a better and happier life.
I've changed my turquoise pinafore to yellow blouse + grey skirt.
........And lots more which i........
don't even know how to bring them out.
Those above are the good ones, and i'm gonna bring them along with me to this whole new year.
Those bad ones, just left them behind, to be ruin off by the ruthless wind of memory.

Yeah \(^o^)/ 3 more days to new schooling year!
I can't wait for Monday.
What will it be like on the first day of Secondary 3?

Craps

2008-12-23T05:12:00.000-08:00

See this silver little thingy on my violin? Guess how much it costs me? Dad even frowned on me and made a fuss, saying that this mute shouldn't have cost that much. I was actually in a dilemma too, when Ms Tan called me. But at last, i still decided to buy it, as i probably need it next time, and it's hard to find this kind of mute at my area here. Well, not that bad actually. Now i can even play my violin in the middle of the night, when i can't fall asleep. Sounds nice right? Haha.

Looking back at last friday, about the CO competition. San De Boy's School team from Perak was the champion of all. Congratz to them! Having fun and enjoying the music in the hall. And i got the chance to see how well other schools' CO and perform compare to our school's. It really make a big difference. We still need a whole lot more of improvements. The problems we are facing right now are:

i. insufficient of instruments.

ii. unsteady basic skills.

iii. lack of commitment from fellow members.

iv. inadequate of members.

v. distrust between constuctor and members.

These are the very basic problems and leaving them unsolve will only lead to the tumbling of our CO. I do really hope that our team can make ourselves in at least one of the competition, just before i leave this school.

The stage

Ticket

My 'nasib' for this month?View of KL.

The temple view.

Plenty of turtles. They are so adorable.

All the best.

2008-12-23T04:57:00.000-08:00

His hair was so hilarious. XD

The last day 4 Dickson to be our teacher. He's not that bad though. At least his 8 lessons with us were not that dull, and were mostly occupied with jokes and laughters. Time moves on fast and 8 lessons were not that long after all. Well, all the best to him and i just don't get it, why he rather stay at M'sia to be a promoter than going to Shanghai for further studies, for i thought Shanghai or anywhere in China is always a more suitable place for a person like him.

The gathering

2008-12-15T04:38:00.000-08:00

You know, actually, i think gathering should be lotz more fun than this. It should be like.... everyone, sitting round the same table, sharing the same food, having the same conversation, talking about life recently and future plans. It should be almost like a campfire (except there's no fire, but light instead of course).

But it all seems so difficult for us. The whole group is still separated in gangs. Best friends still sat and talked and walked together with best friends. But somehow, time seems to change everything. Best friends last time are never seen to be sticking together now. Sounds weird.

'Class photo' of formal 6H YakChee (2006) in 2008.

Where are Ke Xin, Yoong Chii, Sinyee, Puishan and Yen Wei?

If i'm not wrong, she's the only person i took photo with that day(except for the group photos). Smart girl she is, and a friendly smile she got too! ^^

Outside the cinema, before the movie starts, before the gathering ends.

Those who never turn up even once in the gatherings, no matter this year or last year, I do miss u a lotz. Hope to see u in the next gathering, which i don't know when.

It was a tired day. A suffering night. I can't fall asleep even though i'm damn tired. =.= huhur~

The concert

2008-12-09T04:56:00.000-08:00

This was the finest concert ever comparing to last year. Really felt GREAT! Nervousness stopped roaming inside me after the last note i played. I would probably screamed aloud if there was only me inside the hall!

I was late for practice. Fleeing away from CO and Dickson's class, I straightly rushed to BumbleBee. Ms Tan was busy practising with the other violinists and i quickly got myself prepared and joined them in the melody. I was the only person playing Violin 2, and Ms Tan asked me to grab a mic for myself on the stage. How i scared my strings will suddenly go out of tune with a mic directly in front of my violin. But luckily everything went on pretty fine. We're the last on the performance list. That means, our perormance, under Ms Tan guidance, had most expectations from the audience. Hehe...

Three little cutie singing sentimental songs.

Do they look like kids-S.H.E? haha.

Guitar performance.

Guitar + Singing. [So Close]It's hard to get a picture of the drummer.
Shye Kit. Practising before the show.

Piano and keyboard duet.

The other group of violinists.

Shye Kit playing 孤单北半球，accomapanying with Ms. Tan's son on the piano.

This guy is going to Singapore soon. All the best to him!It's our turn! Spot me? Ms Tan's son is joining us too with the cello.

Watching the audience leaving their seat one by one after our last note, leaving their applause behind. Forget about the nervousness before this, how i wish this concert will last longer.

That's the end of it!

Thx 2 mom-- the photographer of the day^^

The conversation between a 14 and 10~

2008-12-02T22:22:00.000-08:00

"How old r u, mei mei?"

"I'm standard 4 tis year, nxt year gonna b standard 5."

[Surprised] "Wow~ So big alredi oh? hehe.."

"How about jie jie?"

"Jie jie form 2 alredi lor.."

[More Surprised] "HUH?! Wat?! @.@ I tot jie jie is only standard 6~"

[SWT"] "Oh... Er.. hehe..." [stupid smile] =~=

Just stumbled up with this cute little girl yesterday at the music centre. She's also in the chamber group, also playing the violin 2 part, with me. Quite surprised when she poped out a handphone from her pocket during our practice. She claimed that it's her own handphone and i was even more surprised because at first, i thought that this short little girl will surely be not older than 8 years old. Curious and that's why i tend to ask how old actually is she. But who knows..... it turned out as the conversation above. I was like.... putting a sour plum into my own mouth (that's what i called it).

She claimed that i don't look like a form 2 at all, but a normal standard 6 girl, just like those she sees in her school..! Do i really look like a standard 6?! What makes her think that i'm standard 6?

-too short?
-too skinny?
-too blur?
-too childish?
-too dumb?

Or she's just trying to comfort me that I actually don't look as old as a form 2? XP

Getting more embarrased when i realised that I've been applying the method of treating a six-year-old kid on her since i first met her, but in fact she's already 10 years old! OMG -X It has been more than a year! Aixx~

The concert is coming!! This saturday!!! I'm waiting!!!! For our show~ For my show! XD

New entertainment for this hols

2008-11-25T05:26:00.000-08:00

This is already the second or third week of holiday, I really can't remember anymore.

The only thing i can remember is THIS ~

Ta-da!

Uncle Sam, a formal colleuges of Mom, turned up for visit last Saturday and brought along his old companion-- his Er-Hu! I really can't believe it! I was still in my bed when Uncle Sam turned up in our house. I quickly dressed up and went down embarrasly, for waking up so late and having him to wait. At first, I just hope to have the chance to handle and play an Er-Hu, or perhaps lend it from him for a few days. But who knows, Uncle Sam suddenly said he decided to give the Er-Hu to me, totally free!

I'm so dead happy. Still trying to fix this whole new instruments to my hand. Thinking of this, yea... The christmas concert! It's on the 6th Dec. We're performing 3 songs-- Somewhere Out There, The Hanukakah Song and Frosty Snowman. Till now, after my hard work and daily practices for hours, at last I done it! I can handle them quite well now, as a Violin 2 performer. Looking forward for that day, don't know how's it gonna be. Last year, it was a ruin for me. I hope this year, it's gonna be an excitement.

I'm catching "It All Started with a Kiss" recently. Mom lend the CD from her friend. I wonder why she's so good help me lent the CD back. Well, perhaps, she felt guilty. Coz part of my boredom of this holiday is caused by her. She failed to request for a job for me in her office. Well, anyway, thanks to her. I guess my holiday is actually not that bored anymore with this drama and the Er-Hu. ^^

Sometimes, life is just a choice between chocolates and sweets.

1 year's just flewn away....

2008-11-14T05:02:00.000-08:00

What do you think when you sense that years pass right in front of your eyes like minutes?

When you are trying to get hold of it or attempting to snatch it back, it will just stare back at you with
grisly smiles....

*

It has been a long time since i last heard the rhythm of Negaraku, accompany with the the singing of a choir of students. It seems like I had never heard this kind of melody since i came to secondary. Kinda miss it...

Luckily i stumbled up with khe sin not long after i reached the school. If not today's gonna be a bad day, i'm gonna lock myself in the toilet for the whole morning till the ceremony end. Haiz... Overall, it didn't turn out as fun as what i'd expected.

Perhaps, there will be a different feeling if i'm a person who seldom goes back to primary school. People like me who will go back once a week will never ever possess the nostalgia of my earlier years back in primary.

me and ke li the cutie^^
See, she's sooo cute!
Khe Sin, can i lend her for at least 1 day?
LOLXD

Just got my result this morning, before heading to Yak Chee. As what i've expected, i got no.2 in the class as well as in the whole form. Actually, i'm already satisfied with it. But mom said she's a bit disappointed. She said she expected me to do better than this. Haiz...==

Miracle

2008-11-11T04:55:00.000-08:00

First of all.....

++Happy Birthday to Pui Shan!!++

So sorry i don't have the opportunity to wish you directly in front of you.
However, still hope that you can enjoy your day ^^

Bro came back from school with a delightful smile today. Guess what? He got no.1 in his class for the whole year! Dad bought him a curry puff on the way back home, as a present for his great success. What a pretty day for him! He didn't even complain when his bowl was filled with Somaly rice just now during dinner time, which i can recall it as a 'miracle'.

Actually i'm quite proud in my heart too, although i kept reminding him that he still need more hard work to be like me. XP Yea, it was really a miracle. I never thought that he got the chance to tease me back. From the first semester he gt no.9, then now suddenly jump to no.1, it's like jumping the spring. Whereas for me, i guess my mom will kill me by this Friday.

Dad said probably 1 day my bro will be cleverer than me. Hahax... who knows? But i believe that next time he will surely become a successful person, no matter how, i know he can. You know, actually, i'm really proud of him. Hope that he can try his best to maintain his position.

Just a quick post here---

All the best to the form 5s.
Good Luck!^^

Last day @ school 2008

2008-11-07T23:29:00.000-08:00

Yea... Schools are over. My form 2's life is over! Everything ended up smoothly, without anything high or low. We did have fun on our last day. Guess it's normal for me to be sad, right? After this year, i'll have no more students' fun, no more kids' fun. Next year will be a challenging year for me. The year after next i'll be in form 4. And after that it's SPM year. The last thing, i'm freedom. But by that time, i'm no longer a kid. No more chasing here and chasing there, no more fooling around, no more shoes' stepping. So, i guess i will miss the time i'm having right now. I'm gonna miss all my yesterdays.

Last day, as usual school days, i went to school, but with more enthusiasm. I tried to capture everything that i'd seen, i'd heard and i felt into my mind. My 1R students, those guys who were used to scold by me during recess time in the canteen, the bell ring, those awesome shouting and laughters, the corridors, the windows, the sunshine......... I'm afraid that those things are no longer exist the next time i go back to school.

1 year, it means a lot of change. Just compare me between this year and last year. Some said that they are totally two different person. Yea.. I realised that too. I wonder how will i change again next year, and the year after that?

Last year ^
(me, huiwen, yenchi)

This year^

(huiwen, me, mj, khesin)

See the difference?

(me & Cecelia)^^

We love sunshine!
(me, mj, puishan)

We were at the canteen.
Those friends behind were having class party!

Chocolate cake made by Rooban.
Too bad i was not in time to take the pizzas' photo.

(me and Puan Jeinthy-my class teacher)

Huiwen's still munching on her pizza.

Aixx~ Don't wait already lar~
We take 1st.. XD

Huiwen's back!
Too bad puishan went back already.
5 less 1.

Cute ^^
Huiwen's trying to knock my head with the bottle.

Guys' talk.
(yyc, tyl, klsj, caleb)

OMGsh~ XD
Poor mj..

(huiwen, meanshan, me)
Like her smile^^

Basketball time!

Look what i've done to jovi's rulers---XD

Oops~ Collapse||__

Star *

See, I enjoyed your rulers so much... LOLXD
|--Mission failed--|

Sunshine after the rain.

Geez^^ I like this^ Hehe..

Every thing's just so fine.
We just lack 1 more big family photo.
Well, leave it for next year then.
Happy Holidays to all!
See you all next year!
|--Happy Ending--|

What a slip!

2008-10-31T05:42:00.000-07:00

Khe sin said this is so-called 'YENG'. Especially with that plaster on my head. So what do u all think?

What's behind the plaster? Actually... it's just a small matter i think. But this will surely be a one of the most memorable day for me. It was the FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL after 5 days of Deepavali holiday, and I SLIPPED DOWN! IN FRONT OF SO MANY FRIENDS~ ON THE FIRST PERIOD~ JUST AFTER MY FIRST STEP INTO CLASS 2R~

Till now i still couldn't believe it.

My head crashed something, which i don't know whether it's a chair or a table, but i just hope it was not a nail or some rusted metal that caused the wound on my head.

That time was Chinese period. Pn Goh was taking our class. She was so startled at first when she saw my head bleeding.

So as many of my friends. So as me. I thought i will just have a small bruise on my head. But who knows, when i try to rub my spinning head, there's some fluid coming out from nowhere. Immediately, i rushed to the girl's toilet with huiwen, and that's why we, fortunately, skipped chinese period. Later on, i heard from my classmates that Pn Goh was quite angry and not really in a bad mood that morning.

But the most scary part was when Pn Daisy wanted to see me in Bilik Rawatan. She was quite anxious that time, asking me what had happened, whether my mom's fetching me back afterwards, whether i want to see a doctor and many many. I knew that she was actually concern, in a good way. But don't know why i just felt some sense of guilt when i heard her saying,"Oh.. prefect ya?" when she first saw me. By the way, thanks to huiwen for helping me to clean the wound and put up the plaster. Thanks a lot! ^^

Now my hands are aching. My wound is untouchable. My knee is so damn scary. Just caught a pic of it. Hope that u are not frightened by it.

I don't even dare to touch it. Even a slightest touch will cause an agony. Haiz~ This is too much!

It was so embarrassing. Such a big girl like me will also slipped. AHHH~~huhuh~

By the way, just a simple post about a souvenir from Tian Yang from Bali. I like it so much. Got her name on it. Check it out!

Thanks a lot Tian Yang! ^^
Hope u have a nice trip in Taiwan this December!
All the best to u too!

Week of exam.

2008-10-24T06:06:00.000-07:00

Exam was over. Seriously, EXAMS WERE TRULY OVER!

I just can't believe it. At last~ AT LAST!! I wanna scream as loud as i want ~!

So many nights of staying up late and waking up early, so do they worth?

I have no idea. I just know that this was the first time i got the fear of having exam over 10 years of schooling life. I have no idea why. Perhaps it's because i'm in the first class this year. Everyone was pumping books all the time through the exam week, making me scared that i'll drop to the bottom of the class anytime.

History made me headache. Science made me hungry. Maths made me feel like wanna die. Essays made me sweat.

ICTL made me laughed till my stomach pain.

You know why?

The first question:

State 3 examples of programming language.

I had idea what's the answer for this question. But leaving it blank seems like i'm 'letting out my cough at the stairs' (meletakkan batuk di tangga).

You know what i planned to write actually?
i) English
ii) Malay
iii) Chinese

Or perhaps i could add 1 more>> iv) Tamil

But of course, i never write as what i think. I know it's lame, but this question really made me laugh through the whole ICTL paper.

Science>> The digestion part. Writing about how the food travels from the mouth to the stomach. I just couldn't help thinking about FOOD that time. So as KH. What nasi goreng, roti canai, mi goreng, kuih ketayap, telur, jus oren........... everything came out in the paper. And it was all about FOOD.

Yea, i think that's all. I'm sure there are still many interesting events during the whole exam week, but many of them i just can't remember them right now. And there are also people whom i think i don't have to waste my time to mention about them. They are peepers. I just can't believe my own eyes when i saw them exchanging test papers right in front of me, DURING the EXAM! And the poor teacher was still sitting right behind the class and thought that everything will be fine as we're the 1st class of the whole form. But she's wrong！ Totally wrong! And there's someone i really hope to say PADAN MUKA in front of him. He deserved it. Thanks to his beloved dear hand phone. XD

1st day of exam

2008-10-14T23:59:00.000-07:00

My hands were trembling. The corner of the paper was twisted by me, so hard that i nearly twisted my fingers too. This was the first time, I got so scared, fear of browsing through the questions. I knew that i weren't well-prepared yet. The 5 hours of sleep yesterday doesn't seem to help any. Waking up at 4 in the morning doesn't seem to be the best time to study too.

Today was just the first day. There are still 5 more days to go. I'm lost.

My principle doesn't work at all. NO MOOD?! NO TALK!

NO MOOD?! NO EXAM?? Impossible~

Tips doesn't help me any. Tips will only spoil my exam mood. If everyone already knows what will be coming out, then what's the point of having exam? It is just similar as giving us dictation on a piece of model essay. Why spend so much time and money to print out the question papers?

This kind of exam is not enjoying at all.

The first paper today was not tough, but writing essay is surely a great task for me. I'm not scared of lacking points, but i just hope that time will move slower during the period of time. Once i feel nervous, my hands will shake uncontrollably. All the ideas and points in my mind will fly away, together with the passing time and and the shakings.

The school bell rang. Sometimes i just hope that it will never stop.

If there is really a fire, i'll be glad.

I never used to eat during recess time. The other students will surely feel happy as recess time is the only time when they are free from studies in the school. But for me, it is indeed a torturing time. Facing the crowd in the canteen, those blackened-heads passing in front, behind and beside me, I just feel like fainted. I sat down on the bench, stunned. I need to calm down myself, to free myself from the struggling of exam, to stop my shaking hands. Not till Ji Xiong's hand came into my sight, only i know that it's time for duty again.

It's time to face those insane again.

The whole world continue to spin.

Noises coming through my ears again. Rubbish were everywhere. Boys were throwing ice to each other.

I felt some cooling solids hitting the back of my leg, as well as my shoulders. I turned around, stared angrily at the group of boys. The were afraid at first. But when they realized that i could only do nothing, they continued to fool around, leaving me aside, like i was actually illuminated to them.

I knew that i can't stand there any longer. I'm a prefect! But i could do nothing to stop them fooling around in the canteen!? So what's the point of me standing in the canteen?! Do you know how depressed am i that time?
Luckily you're not there.

I could actually be much more angrier. I knew i could. But i don't.

I kept on looking at my watch. This is the best way to hide away my disappointment, my fear and my dismal.

Alas, the bell rang. There was still half an hour before the next paper. Actually i planned to go to the toilet and ask khe sin to go up first. But Pn Hasnah always seem to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. I had no way but to keep on following the crowd upstairs. If not, i planned to cry as long as i want in the toilet.

Back in the class, i walked silently to my seat. Nobody saw me, nobody heard me. I lie myself on the table on top of my arms. Tears started falling down. Nobody realized, nobody came up. Many of them thought that i was sleeping or resting. Silently, i hold up my pencil and wrote down this phrase:

Tears are like meteors.
They slide down whenever they want.

Not till MJ came and sat in front of me..... You never realized too right?

The birthday of the cutest girl.

2008-10-04T07:13:00.000-07:00

Went to Violin Chamber Practice before heading to MJ's birthday this morning. Ms Tan said the concert will be held on the 1st week of Dec. Whoa~ I'm so looking forward to it. We're going to play 4 songs this time, including Somewhere Out There and Minuet. Damn excited! ^^

Yea, get back to MJ's birthday. We held it in Neway Karaoke Box. I arrived there a bit late. Sorry MJ! Started singing after that. Quite fun although we don't have enough microphone.

After all, picture is a better story teller than me:

The food~ OKOK la.. although the prices are quite high.

I've tried to make the pic to look as small as it can.

The birthday star! So nice and arrogant~

The birthday cake. Sorry to bother u guyz, as i'm actually in charge with this.
Thx a lot! Especially jovi and caleb.

Make a wish~

Geez^^ 5 of us~

Take 2 *

A big group of family. Nice~

We've got such big appetite this afternoon that we finished the whole cake up!

Happy hour:

Soon after that, went to IOI Bowling centre. Halfway through, received phone call from my dad. And he scolded me teruk-teruk, until i don't even have the mood to watch them play in the bowling centre. Sorry MJ. But I really sensed the fun when i saw them strike 1 by 1. And the mood slowly went up.

Wow~

The last pic of the day.

Happy birthday again to MJ!
So are u the happiest birthday star in the world today?^^winks~

Special thanks to the photographer-MJ

New hairstyle- I'm dead weird!

2008-10-03T06:21:00.000-07:00

Oh my GOD! It's such a big difference. I just can't believe it. I just went to the barber and cut my hair!! Surely, please tell me that it was just a dream, and my hair is still save-able. I rather stay at home as long as i could, until my hair grow back like before. T.T

How am i going to attend mj's party tomorrow?

boring, dying, sizzling

2008-09-30T00:35:00.000-07:00

Yes, indeed, it's holiday here again. Another wholesome, boring, dying, sizzling holiday i'm having right now. I just feel like dying. Some more, the year-end exam has been shifted earlier to 15 Oct!! Gosh~~ Who else will feel like 'living' when they heard about this shocking news?

Here am i, blogging on the net right now. My dude little bro kept distracting me which i can't even tahan him anymore. Who said that being the elder sis in the family is a very good thing to be? I can just prove it to you that you are wrong!! Once i go online, he would just complain about it to my dad. Once i switch on the tv set and was planning to watch a movie, he goes on with his piano pula! I'll tell you, i just feel like banging him against the wall.

Just finish cleaning up my bike. My BMX-bike, which i'd never touch it for a year i guess, now it's a bit rusted. Thanks to my dude little bro who keeps on distracting me till i decided to go for a bike-travel. If not, i guess i'll have to change a new bike next year. Cycling is indeed a very soothing activity. It's been a long time since i last cycled around the neighborhood and let the morning breeze to gently touch my face. I really enjoy it, but i just hope the next time i ride on my bike, i'm not alone anymore.

I'm dead boring over here. Wanna find someone to chat, but just found out that there's nobody online. It's so weird, everyone is like, vanished~ No blog updates, no latest news of you all. zzz..... =.=

Rumbles for the whole week.

2008-09-23T03:09:00.000-07:00

Teachers are not teaching these few days, as i don't know why. Some of them are attending courses outside. And that's why i think the school rearrange the exam timetable to November. Well, that's a good news, isn't it?

There was this guy, hanging around in our class today. And he kept on making fun with the boys in my class, by doing something like what someone said-- "destroying their virginity". Well, i kept on laughing and laughing when i saw his act on the boys. The boys kept on hiding away from him in case they lose their 'virginity' anytime. Actually i quite pity them. I don't know what's the problem with this guy, but i just think that he was absolutely crazy and lame after some time, and it was quite disturbing. Anyway, sorry for my non-stop laughing this morning.

Just recently, through my duty in the school everyday, i just found out something. The peralihan students are even better than the the form 5s' boys. U wanna know why? After eating in the canteen, it's our responsible to clean away the rubbish and the plates right? And i think that it's suppose to be an automatic. Only pets like cats and dogs in your house will need you to help cleaning up the mess. But guess what? The form 5's boys (not all of them of course, some of them are nice i know), they just don't know what to do after enjoying their meals. They just leave their plates on the table and walk away. Yes, i know that they are having their trials now, but is it really so difficult to carry their plates to the big pail that only need 5 steps away from their tables? It doesn't need much energy at all. Compare to the peralihan students, they are much more better. They will automatically clean up their mess as soon as they finish their food. They don't need my instructions at all. And sometimes if there's any rubbish on the tables, although it doesn't belong to them, they will help cleaning it up too. It is such a big difference between them and the form 5s' boys that i mentioned just now. Some more, im just too ashamed to say that, the form 5s' boys are actually top students form the first science class. So, what's so cool with their great academic results with such an attitude like this? Haiz... pity them...

My health recently is not at a good status too. Some more with the duty at the canteen, i think i'm going to have a high-blood pressure or a heart attack anytime. Well, just kidding. But i really sense something's wrong with my own self. My head will get pain easily whenever it wants to. My bones ache so pain every morning i wake up from my bed. My gastric are getting more serious. I could simply fall asleep once i get back home. I can sleep about 11 hours per day. Does this consider as 'normal'? I don't think so.

Untitled

2008-09-12T05:43:00.000-07:00

My confidence are dispersing into my veins.
Stopping my night dreams from chugging on.
As i seal the past into my diary.
How long can we continuing acting
as if there is nothing
except the silently flowing stream
between the path that keep us apart.
My anxiety kept intriguing me
to cross pass the stream,
to guess what you are guessing.
The mist right ahead
blocking my sight,
make it hard for me to get through your mind.
I kept pondering the way i'm desiring.
Whether it is really you're the one
or actually the memorable sweetness you've done.
But my ponder never stops the fear
of losing you before the last page of my diary.
So i try to watch and follow
the way you trace back your trail
No matter how long it takes.

2008-09-05T05:42:00.000-07:00

Life recently is quite relaxing and is not under supervision.

Although dad had just kept my personal phone away from my sight, but at least i'm still able to online wherever i want, as long as it's not more than 2 hours per day (of course, i'm not allowed to online everyday.. ><) Now that computer has become the only social network tool that i can use to keep in touch with my friends, and i've started to get bored with it.

I'm now trying to find different kinds of things to do, to make myself feel occupied. Violin, piano, novels, cubes, musics.... I've tried them all, just to make myself entertained. But till the end of the story, i knew that i'm just trying to lock up my boredom by wasting my time and pulling myself away from studies.

I'm just pretending, acting strong to tell myself that i'm still in the line, i'm still following it, i was not left out. But deep in my heart i found that actually i could hardly catch a breath. I can't manage myself to catch up with the others. I started to slow down my pace. And the next thing, i totally lost all my interest. I simply block myself from heading a single step in front. I was totally stopped by my own will. I was bored with the lessons in school. The only purpose i go to school is just to have fun with my classmates. I know the teachers are trying really hard to make us listen to them. But i can do nothing to make myself paying fully 100% attention during their lessons. I felt the sense of guilty roaming inside myself. The only way to make myself feel better is to complete every single exercise that teachers gave us. Yet, i gain nothing from it. The facts i've just done will gone disappear completely. It's just like searching the thread in the sea-- completely useless.

Talking about entertainment, i just found out something new and interesting from my friend. They are much more easier than the cubes. Just compare it-- it took me about a month's time to learn how to solve the cube, but i can just figure these things out all by myself in just 1 day!! These things really test your brain. I really feel the great sense of success when i managed to solve 3 of them after twisting my brain for the whole afternoon. Geez ^^

2008-08-29T07:00:00.000-07:00

Went back to school at about 3.30pm in the afternoon. And guess what? I saw 2 figures standing right in front of the bus stop outside our school. One of the boys even carried a Zhong-ruan beside him, and i wonder what were they doing under the big hot sun, posing themselves like models with the Zhong-ruan, in the mixture of hot wind + car-exhaust.

How i laughed when i heard that they were actually waiting for the Zhong-ruan teacher that they hired from outside. Well, it was the teacher's first time, so it's normal that he would be late. The teacher's name is Dickson. At first i thought that he might seemed a bit 'abnormal'. But as soon as he arrived, alright... maybe i'm wrong.

My rating:

Outward appearance: 85%
Abnormal:20%
Slang: 90%
Skill: 95%

Well, today was his first day. Still don't know whether he's good or not. Just hope that my skill will really improve under his teaching.

Tomorrow is countdown night! Can't wait to see the fireworks flaming in the sky!

Somehow, i just felt that this year's Merdeka mood is not so high. I can't even see a single Malaysia flag hanging on a single car.

Last day of holiday... i think i should said " alas.."

2008-08-23T22:44:00.000-07:00

So today's the last day of holiday, so i think i should put up a post today.

I don't know should i say "alas...", or "aww...... why it ended so fast...?".

Let's see what have i done in this wrecked-up holiday.:..:.

finished up about 10 pages of dumb projects.
finished exploring about 3 books.
licking up a piece of chocolate per day.
having nice dream for 7 days.
a trip to the music festival yesterday.
watched the badminton competition of Lee.C.W vs Lin.D.
XXXXXXX
XXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXX

............ and lots more but i don't think u wanna know.

Talking about yesterday, me, huiwen and mj went to The Malaysian Youth Music Festival held in Marriot Hotel.

The first room we went in was the Piano Diploma of Selangor state.

Overall, the performances were really cool~ But i think next time they should limit up the time of the performance, so that the audiences will not feel sleepy.

We saw many kinds of performances, and of course, the different actions of the pianists.

Some were too nervous that they stamped their foot and covered their faces with their hands when they accidentally played the notes wrongly or suddenly forgotten their scores.

Some were too proud of themselves that they need to bring up a cloth up the stage with them.

Guess what he did after that?

He open up the cloth and thumped it on the keys of the grand piano.

Not gently, but roughly, in front of all the audience.

Maybe he was trying to tell the audiences that his hands were too special and can only touch the pianos which have been wiped by his magic cloth.

Or maybe he found out that 1 of the pianist before his turn had just picked his/her nose before playing the grand piano.

Who knows? These are just my own predictions.

The wrist tickets.

Take a look at my study table.... I guess it might take me a long time to rearrange it. Duh.... ==

And loads of novels which i haven't finish reading.... I guess it's time to return them back to my friends.

How im going on with my hols.

2008-08-22T06:46:00.000-07:00

To begin with, i wanna claim that this holiday- yeah... it seems boring. But somehow, i felt that this holiday is too short for me. I've been repeating and repeating these following actions for everyday i guess.

Wake up to gain some fresh air.
Make myself a half-boiled egg.
Stun with loads of projects.
Pour myself in the dreamland of novels.
Listening to happy-go-lucky songs.
Online whenever there's no sign of my dad.
Play my violin according to my principles.
(No mood? No talk!)
Lie down on the bed whenever the clock strikes 0130.

Yeah... It looks as though as it's a bit wrecked, but it's quite relax-able.
No worries of homeworks and problems that will only exist in school.

By the way, the Olympic Games in Beijing is going to end with a glorious full-stop this Sunday. Oh my! It's so fast! I still remember how i hoped and waited and look forward with countless anxiety for this event last year. And alas, now it started, and it's coming to an end soon! Can't believe it! How i miss the Olympic fever that cover the whole atmosphere. Will they vanish as soon as the Olympic ends? I'm looking forward for the closing ceremony this Sunday. Let's just wait and see what kind of surprise will China give us at the last spark of Olympic fireworks!

My valuable collections.

Huiwen ah huiwen.... where have you been at this late at night?
I kept calling u at home for a hundred times already u know?
IMPORTANT!

Sorry for someone:
I don't mean to let u wait.
Next time i surely won't be late to online again.
Sorry....

having bad mood on a bad day by the wrong time

2008-08-19T23:01:00.000-07:00

Alright, alright. As what u all are hoping. I'm updating right now.

Yesterday, well, too boring to stay at home, that's why i followed my parents to IKANO.

Nope, actually, it was only me who went to IKANO, whereas they went to IKEA.

First time went shopping myself, after pleading my dad for a long time, i set myself free.

So what's more, of course, i went to POPULAR at once!

One word -- BIG!

Really can't compete with the Popular bookshop at IOI Mall near Puchong.

Coz it was weekday, there were only a few book addicts there. ( But i still can't even see a single leng-zai there)

I'd got a lot of space to move, after picking some books, found a nice place, and i set myself down to read.

At first, I was quite excited, coz i've found a lot of great novels there, which i can hardly get from IOI Mall.

But then, i know i need to choose.

I don't have that much money. Need to save for other expenses, especially when prices are getting higher and higher now.

No choice, but to choose.

I hate making choices, especially on books.

Now i realized that money is really very, very important.

How stupid was i to think that money is a damn shit thing, just before that minute.

Choices were made and here they are:

《The children of the moon》

《Two girls》

I was scolded by my dad, soon after that.

He called me several times already, but too bad i never hear my phone rang.

He scolded me the second time when i forgot to take my POPULAR card with me.

That's why, i missed the discount, which actually can help me to save another 4 ringgit.

What a bad day!

How can such things happened to me as i'm having expenses problem right now?

Although i feel like scolding bad words, but i'll still tahan.

I've said before, Chocolates may help.

And oh ya... Lee Chong Wei failed to get a gold medal for M'sia.

Too bad~

Anyway, the silver medal he won had already made Malaysians proud.

Hope he will cheer up soon and start aiming for the next goal.

Reread back my post.
I wonder since when my english become so.................. B.A.D.

Bad Mood

2008-08-15T05:38:00.000-07:00

Just finished watching the Olympic Games -- Malaysia vs Korea Badminton Semifinal.

The whole game was really Roxx to the max!

Gratz to Lee Chong Wei who had managed to proceed to the final!

Whoo hoo~ Must do your best in the final! Be the best and beat the rest!

We, Malaysians are proud to have you!

*******************************************************

Whew~ At last, holidays are here now. But unfortunately, we are so fed up with all kinda projects. Sejarah, Sivik Geo..... And we gotta hand up all this projects right after the holidays!! Aww... thinking of the loads of projects will only spoil my holiday mood. I just don't get it. Those projects are so damn useless. All the objectives are just craps. We can only gain nothing from all of these. The only thing we got is just minutes and seconds which had been wasted. Don't let me find out who is the damn fool who had created such a stupid idea in Malaysian's Education.

Useless! Useless! Useless!

Just don't mention about it again. Thinking about duty again, i was so damn angry. Although life's in the school canteen is better than jaga block, but what do u think when i tell u that i was arranged to jaga under the hot sun? Yea, some may think it's good, coz u can save yourself from duty whenever it rains. But, how many times will the sky cries in such a year? Well, standing outdoor, watching the other students sitting under the shady umbrellas, noticing how they slowly seep their noodles, rice, hamburger, sausages and wedges into their mouth, while u can just standing there, walk her walk there like a waitress, reminding them to throw their rubbish into the dustbin. What kinda job is this? And sometimes, you may be so fed up with the gang of malay boys who like to sakit u purposely. They will only throw their rubbish into the dustbin right after u pleaded them like a servant to the king. If not, you will end up being scolded because there are rubbish on the tables and grass.

Sometimes, i feel like whacking them up!!!!

And guess what? LJX came to collect 50cents from me this morning. He said one of the prefect had not arranged the files properly according to the position of classes. Thus, every prefect had to be fined 50cents.

Better don't let me find out who are u!!!!

Ish~~ Not in a very good mood now.

Better off line now before i scolded more and more people.

Birthday with donuts =)

2008-08-12T07:09:00.000-07:00

Today is really a big day, a GREAT day!

I was poured with streams of birthday wishes once i stepped into the school gate.

I can said that i was really touched.

Especially when i saw the blackboard in my classroom was full-written with birthday wishes for me.

And the birthday song too!

I kept saying thank you, thank you and thank you.. for the whole day.

Coz except for that, i don't know what else can i do to show u guyz that i really appreciate what u all had done for me.

Thx once again! Thx for a hundred more times!

to--

huiwen, khe sin, mean jern, puishan, sinyee, jie min, kah wei, cecelia, prienetha, wen yee....
jovi, yew sian, zhong zheng, caleb, royce, yih cherng, darryl & darren, bryan, junyi.....

and lots more that had wished me directly or indirectly.

And biggest thx to the person who had bought the jaco donuts (the best donuts that i'd ever taste).

Sorry for the teacher who had seen us having our donuts feast.

I can said that this was the best birthday i'd ever had in my life!

I smile all the way to sleep =)

Such nice packing that i tidak sampai hati to unwrap it.

The content. Thx to mj for choosing it.

The birthday card.

Wishes from everyone.

Special thankz to someone who had given me an unexpected surprise this morning. I'm glad.

A whole lots more...

2008-07-31T02:20:00.000-07:00

Exam's over by today. Whoo Hoo~ [Sigh] But, it's actually not a big deal to me, coz i really didn't put in much effort this time. And i'm sure that i'm gonna be very sorry as soon as i get back my test papers. Seriously, i don't have the EXAM MOOD. You should think that i'm crazy, taking exam also need to depend on mood. No doubt. I'm that kind of person - NO MOOD? NO TALK!

Yeah, getting back to choral speaking. [Sigh once more] I swear. We really tried our best, and we, at first, truly had the confidence to get at least, the 3rd prize. But why oh why?? The FACT is- We lose! We only managed to bring back RM 200 , that is the consolation prize. It was so damn disappointing. The competition was over and many eyes were reddened with tears and sobs... We were once lighted up with the wishes from everyone who hope we will come back with champion, and even our beloved headmistress, Pn Tan came to support us that day. But, the fact-is the fact, and the fact-is always not what we longed for.

No matter, cheer up the Form 1s'! You all still have the chance next year! Make hay while the sun shines and start aiming for next year's choral speaking champion. Prove it to all the outsiders that　ＳＭＫＳ４ＢＫ is always the best! Grab the trophy back and i know you all can do it!

Here are some pics, taken during Sunday's competition at Subang Parade. Me and my gang of friends were no longer having Mc Donald's for lunch that day. We aim HIGH to Sakae Sushi, where the food were absolutely BEST, and the prices were HIGH too! Sob... RM10 gone just for a lunch. But never mind, I had the MOOD to spend that day ^^. haha...

Green Tea.. Cool~

Wah~ Forget what was the name of this cuisine already.. But it was kinda NICE!

Mmm~ Yum Yum..

This one is even nicer! Prawns, Tepanyaki, Japan tofu and egg... and a whole lots more..

OMG.. the plate's moving! Hey, don't move, I'm taking pic!

Chopsticks' fighting! Me first! Me first!

Oh my! Look at Joel! He's so cute!

Funny! See, it was so delicious till his eyes were closed.

Wah... share again?

Yay! Cheers! By the way, where's MJ?

Mithra, our conductor's on stage! It was her first time i think.

Huiwen, me and MJ- having fun in school before leaving for the competition. Perhaps this is the one and only chance...

Huiwen & me. How nice when she put her hair down...

Look over there! We'd found something!

I like the green grass. It suits us so perfectly. Memory was snap down for this second.

I like this pic.
We smiled so nice at the same spot for the first time.

Do we look like superstars? XD

Us!
Glued to it!

Quick! Smile! Pose! The last shot!

So, that's all for that day, i guess. And this morning, I got my prefect's -U! I thought it might looks good, but who knows?! OMGsh~! Sucks! I look weird in that yellow uniform. Sob again... Really, I'm not joking. It's WEIRD! It doesn't suit me at all. How i miss my sea-blue pinafore. Tomorrow will be the last day for me to wear my dear pinafore. I'm gonna miss it.. Truly.... Aww.....